Monday, June 27, 2011

Communicate Your Trust in Others - 2 Important Factors That You Must Remember

By Luke Bong


Trust is the currency of relationship. Therefore, it's important that we both gain the trust of others as well as communicate our trust in others. After all, trust is a two-way street. To let someone know we trust them, we sometimes tell them the following.

"I just want you to know that I really trust you."
"I trust you more than I trust myself."
"You are the person I trust the most on this team."

Do these sentences really mean anything in a relationship? In other words, if you say these sentences to someone, will it really convince the person that you trust them? There isn't a straightforward answer to this question because there are many factors that will influence how your message is being perceived by the listener.

One person may believe you while another person may just brush it off as empty talk. Why is that so? There are several factors that affect trust building in someone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."

This means that if you don't show you trust someone, just saying it will have totally no effect on that person because your action speaks louder than your words. So the first factor is, if you want to let someone know you trust him or her, reinforce your words with real actions. For example, allow the person to get on with a task without micromanaging. You may also want to refrain from questioning each and everything the person does (feels like being interrogated for some wrong doings).

The second factor is how you convey the message. Very often, how something is said is more powerful than what is said. Apply the 3Vs of communication: Verbal, Vocal and Visual.

Verbal refers to the words you use. Vocal refers to the tone of voice you use and Visual refers to your actions. Let me illustrate this for you. Let's say I tell you, "You know, I trust you a lot and I want you to head this project team."

How you interpret this message will depend on the following:

Verbal - Does the word "trust" really mean what it is supposed to mean or is it a sarcastic remark?

Vocal - When you say "You know" do you sound like you were mocking me or reassuring me?

Visual - Do you look me in the eye when you say it (which means you are sincere)? Do you keep me in the email chain so that I am in the loop of all communication? Do you inform the top management about my contribution to the team?

Trust is the currency of a relationship. When you build trust in others, you are laying the foundation for a great team. So, take the time and invest trust in the lives of the people around you. Make sure that your words and action are congruent. Then, when you tell someone, "I trust you," they can believe in you.

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