Friday, June 18, 2010

How to Make a Conversation Flow

By Peter Murphy

We all seem to know someone with the gift of gab. The just seem to naturally know how to make a conversation flow; even if it's with someone they are just meeting for the first time.

Here are some tips on how to make conversation flow by concentrating on why we talk to each other in the first place.

1. The golden rule.

The reason we talk to other people is to connect, on a heart-to-heart level. If a conversation is steered only by your head, there is probably not going to be a flow to it.

Use the golden rule when you enter that room full of strangers. You want to feel noticed and understood. Start by noticing and understanding others!

2. Smile!

Have you noticed that person who walks into a room 'smiling at the world?' When they do talk to someone their voices are warm and friendly. Smiling will make you look confident and relaxed, which makes people want to approach you.

Don't be surprised if someone comes up to you and says: "Wow, you seem like a happy person! Can I sit with you, today?"

3. Are you listening?

By far, people who know how to make conversation flow know when to be the one who isn't talking! How many times have you been on the phone and can tell that the person you are talking to is distracted with something else. For whatever reason - they are not really listening to you.

People who do a lot of networking have an underlying belief that everyone they meet is the most incredibly interesting person in the world. You can never find that out, unless you listen to what someone has to say.

Furthermore, if you are worried about what to talk about with someone, listening with your heart and not reacting with your head will never leave you without something to add to the conversation.

4. Remember past conversations.

Start up a conversation by remembering tidbits of any past talks you may have had. You remember this was the person that was trying to train their new pet dog.

You can start up a friendly conversation with: "So how's Sam doing? Did you ever get him to rollover and play dead?" This demonstrates your interest in the other person and it is always appreciated.

5. Eye Contact.

Another key in learning how to make conversation flow is to remember to maintain eye contact with whomever you are talking to. You only have had to be on one bad date with someone who keeps looking around at all the other potential 'dates' in the room, while you are talking to them, to know that the person is just not that interested!

Learning how to make conversation flow sometimes takes practice, but it can lead to quality, heart-to-heart connections.