Sunday, June 7, 2009

My Intuition.

It’s a Sunday and for me it was more of a FUNDAY!

Mom was in Shirdi with my family. I was chilling the whole day catching up with the latest news on television and newspapers, with most of the day spent without clothes, thanks to the heat… yes the heat in Mumbai is soaring, I thought monsoon was around the corner, but it is no where in sight and i was almost naked enjoying the sun rays on my skin in my garden, loitering in my house in my jockey most of the day.

I did not go to Shirdi with MOM, for I resent that lord for some reason, I go back immediately to December 26th 2007 whenever I think of that lord, Saibaba.

My grand mother was a devoted follower of his, I remember, she was in her deathbed, in coma, when I and my aunt jayanti saw her violently pleading to the lord to save her life, while the nurses in the hospital held my Amma’s hand to control her jumping out of the various saline’s that she was surviving on.

We saw her jostling and praying and saying SAIBABA SAIBABA from that 12 inch by 12 inch window of the ICU door. She wanted to live, I wanted her to live, I wanted to take her in my swift car to Shirdi one day.

The swift never came, Amma never lived.

It was the 26th of December morning that I was told by Makarand uncle to go to his atm and get some money, have a tea at home and come back to the hospital with that money.

I had stayed all night at the hospital, went to the ATM, took the money, on my way on my uncles old BAJAJ scooter stopped at the Saibaba temple, prayed for my amma’s life for I had an intuition something terrible was on its way but as long as I had my saibaba on my side, I needn’t worry. With a lot of self developed courage in the temple and trusting saibaba would do his job, I went home.
The door was opened by Dinesh suvarna, my aunt’s friend, and as he opened he said "I am sorry". I knew what he meant. I just didn’t want to accept it. I was cold and calm. I drove back to the hospital at about 7.20 am.

Amma was dead… My intuition was right…… And saibaba failed; somehow I have developed distrust in that lord….

So didn’t go to Shirdi, but my mom went yesterday with my aunt and uncle and my cousin Meghana in a hired Chevrolet Tavera. While they left at 7.30 in the morning and as the car took the turn at the end of the road, I had an intuition again, I saw them all dead and I living my life all alone with my dad. I ridiculed it but the fear somewhere still chilled my spine.

Today, a Sunday, I get a call by my Uncle…..THEY HAVE HAD AN ACCIDENT AND WERE HIT BY A BUS…..

They have bruises and are bleeding; my mom is cold and scared. I knew it. My intuition has come true again…

I am confused and scared…….Is it my intuition that is turning into reality???? For I want to now stop thinking negative, I better think positive, for whatever I think it is coming true….Let not my dear ones suffer o lord…I beg for forgiveness.. . I am sorry for my misdeeds.

Please keep my family happy, healthy ALWAYS… Take my life instead.