Tuesday, June 30, 2009

How to Communicate Your Weaknesses

There will come a time in everyone’s career (or life in general) when a person is asked to identify their primary weakness (or weaknesses). It is also a very common interview question. If you are not ready for this question, it can be very awkward and the answer may not come across in a good way.
Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses – it’s simply a part of being human. Accept that and you’ll be way ahead of the game. Because of that fact, ignoring them, avoiding them or pretending you don’t have them is by far the worst thing you can do. Hiding a problem doesn’t make the problem go away. Learn how to identify and understand your weaknesses and how to properly communicate them to others.
Steps to communicate your weakness;
  • Understand the question. When you’re asked this, especially in an interview, it’s not the weakness that’s the most important thing; it’s whether you are aware of your weaknesses and what you do about them. If the answer is “I don’t have any” then it becomes obvious that the primary weakness is a lack of self-awareness. Also, it's important to understand that being aware of weaknesses is not the same as being weak. Knowing about, and compensating for, your weakness is in fact a very important strength.

  • Be prepared. You should regularly examine yourself to identify your primary weaknesses. If you don’t know what they are, you can’t communicate them to others. If you already know the answer, you won’t have to fumble and you will have considerably greater esteem in the eyes of the interviewer.

  • Avoid the most common mistake. “My greatest weakness is that I’m too much of a perfectionist and I hold myself to a higher standard than I expect from others.” Uh huh. That frankly irritates the interviewer. It also shows, very clearly, that you live in denial of yourself. Ok, maybe you are too much of a perfectionist and that can be a very valid weakness. State it differently. “I sometimes over analyze my work products which can cause me to fall behind in other tasks.” That really means the same thing but it is an honest weakness. Instead of saying, “People are intimidated by me because I’m such a strong leader” try “When I’m in a leadership role, I sometimes come across as being overbearing.” Twisting your answer to make it seem like your primary weakness is that you’re already perfect will always fail. The interviewer will actually recognize what you’re doing and you won’t be fooling anybody (except perhaps yourself).

  • Be clear and concise. Don’t overstate things. Don’t ramble. Don’t repeat yourself. Don’t explain too much. If someone asks you the time, that’s not asking you to explain the inner workings of an atomic clock. The interviewer is looking for something very specific and if you focus too much on the initial part of the answer you’ll miss the opportunity to really shine in the second part of the answer.

  • Immediately follow with good news. Okay, you’ve clearly identified your weakness, you’ve stated it concisely and shown that you have good awareness of your personal issues. So now what? Just knowing your weakness is good, but what are you doing about it? That is the crux of the question and must be the focus of your answer. “I sometimes over analyze my work products which can cause me to fall behind in other tasks. To avoid that, I set aside a specific amount of time for review. When that time is up, I move to the next task on my list of priorities.” Yay! You’ve just proven that you can analyze yourself, identify your weaknesses, and develop useful methods to overcome them. That is what the interviewer wants to know. Develop a list of compensatory techniques associated with each weakness.

  • Continue to be clear and concise. When you state your compensatory technique, it really needs to be focused on the issue at hand. It must not be vague or imprecise at all. The method you use to overcome your weakness must be as well composed as the weakness itself – both have to be very solidly identified and communicated with lucidity.

  • Stop and wait. After you answer the question, stop talking. Wait for the interviewer to speak next. You’re done. You’ve given them what they asked for so wait for a response. You might have to wait an uncomfortable amount of time. The interviewer might very well insert (on purpose) a lengthy pause to see what you’ll do. Look them in the eye (no, don’t “stare them down”) with a comfortable expression on your face and wait for them to give you feedback. Be prepared for them to ask you if there are any more!

  • Don’t be a one-hit-wonder. You should have three weaknesses and compensatory techniques at your fingertips. The interviewer is quite likely to ask you a second time and often a third time. “What else?”, “Any more?” - if you get asked a fourth time (oh how exasperating that is) there’s a good way to handle that. “When I do this exercise, maybe once a quarter or so, the list might change from time to time. I limit my focus to three current weaknesses so I don’t become overwhelmed. If you ask me again in June, I might have a different answer for you then.”

  • Follow-up with a strength. Once you’ve gotten feedback and you’ve passed the initial test, be ready to expand the conversation to strengths. When you do your self-examination, don’t limit it to your weaknesses… also identify your primary strengths. For each strength you should identify how it benefits you. Knowing that you have strengths is useless unless you know how to use them. It is every bit as important to know where you’re strong as to know where you’re weak.

  • Analyze regularly. As indicated above, this is not a one-time shot. You should do this exercise on a regular basis (but don’t become obsessed). More often than once a quarter is not enough time for any substantial changes to occur. If you wait more than a year, you’re missing opportunities to improve and the self-assessment skills will be rusty. Start with a 3-month recurring event and if that’s too often, drop it down to once every 6 months.

"You cannot run away from weakness; you must some time fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?"Robert Lewis Stevenson The Amateur Emigrant (1895)

Monday, June 29, 2009

10 Secrets of Success

Over the years, it has been discovered that most successful people have 10 traits in common. And that these 10 traits -- together -- help successful people meet their goals and turn dreams into reality.
How many of these 10 secrets of success do you practice?
  • How you think is everything. Remember to “think positive” at every opportunity. Visualize success, not failure. Avoid negative environments and people. You are what you think. In fact, a study shows that positive thinking actually increases longevity.

  • Decide on your dreams and goals. Be specific about your goals. For example, say “I am taking a cooking class next month,” rather than “I would like to take a cooking class sometime.” Create a plan to reach your goals, and stick to it.

  • Take action. Goals alone have no meaning; you need to take action to make them real. Don’t let fear hold you back. "Just do it."

  • Never stop learning. Take classes, go back to school, read books, join a discussion group. If you are interested in a subject, make time to learn about it. Keep acquiring new skills.

  • Be persistent and work hard. You’ve probably heard the expression, “success is a marathon, not a sprint.” Keep your eye on the goal, and keep working toward it. Don’t give up.

  • Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, and ask for input. This will help you make wiser decisions. Acknowledge your mistakes, but don’t beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes.

  • Focus your time and money. When you believe in something, put your attention and energy there. Don’t let people or things distract you.

  • Don’t be afraid to innovate; be different. Be true to yourself, and have your own ideas. Following the crowd is a path to mediocrity.

  • Communicate with people effectively. Remember that no person is an island. Communicate your thoughts and desires honestly, and encourage others to communicate honestly with you. Practice understanding and motivating other people.

  • Be honest and dependable; take responsibility for what you do. Never cheat or lie. When you make a promise, keep it. When you screw up, admit it. Without honesty, dependability and responsibility, the other nine secrets of success don’t add up to much.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

7 Ways To Improve Efficiency In The Workplace

  • Establish step by step milestones. When working towards a intention, having small steps to accomplish before reaching the intention is critical. such as, if you want your sales team to make 30 contacts over their workday, show them that they just have to make five contacts each hour. This makes the intention more sizable and easier to grab and hold.

  • In instances where there is lots of time being wasted doing things that must not be done, such as browsing the Internet, take away the risks. such as, you have a presentation to finish but you keep finding yourself browsing online. Instead of doing that, visit the park to work. There is no Internet and you can get the project done.

  • Tackle the hardest tasks first. That way, there is no worry about procrastinating with them and instead, they are done and taken care of leaving more time for the integral tasks.

  • There will be days when there just is not enough time. What must be done? increase efficiency by focusing on the most integral things. Keep at the forefront the Pareto principle that 80 percent of the value of any event will come from the 20 percent effort that's put towards it. Focus on that 20 percent.

  • Stay organised and get rid of clutter. Cluttered spaces often means cluttered minds. It will hold you back from achieving your unsurpassable objectives.

  • Provide rewards to those who accomplish the objectives. These don't have to be big things but they must be something that they want. such as, if a team is working on a big project, provide to take them to lunch if it is completed prior.

  • Use resources. If the team has the necessary resources on hand to finish the task, they are more probably to be able to do just that. Encourage them to do this to increase their efficiency.

These are a few tips that you can incorporate into the day to day tasks to accomplish your objectives. Ultimately, by increasing the ability to perform the task at the greatest level will enhance the ability of the staff to do well in the long term as well as the short term. That means benefits for everyone.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Phone Etiquette

Calling On the Phone

Courtesy is as important in speaking over the phone as in talking to people face to face. Phone calls generally should not be made before 7:00 in the morning or after 9:30/10:00 at night. Try to avoid mealtimes.

A person should always be certain of the number he is dialing to avoid disturbing someone unnecessarily. If you do reach a wrong number, it is important to say "I'm sorry, I dialed the wrong number." before hanging up.

After someone answers the phone, the caller should give his or her name before asking for the person desired.

When you talk on the telephone, remember:

- your voice quality

- express yourself clearly and concisely

The person at the other end of the phone cannot see your facial expressions or gestures and the impression he receives depends on what she hears. The telephone carries your voice at its natural volume and pitch. Try not to shout but speak clearly and distinctly.

Answering The Phone

The correct way to answer a telephone is "Hello." "Yes" is abrupt and a bit harsh, but "This is the Dev's house" is a bit vague and "Mr. Dev speaking" is. . . . well, let's just put it this way, "Hello" is the most proper way to answer the telephone.

When the telephone in the home is answered by someone other than the head of the house and someone says, "May I speak to Mr. John , please?" he or she should say, "Just a moment, please." If Mr. John is unable to come to the phone, the correct reply is "Mr. John can't come to the phone now. May I have your name, and he will call you back as soon as possible?"

If you must put the telephone down during the conversation, do it gently, and when you hang up, do it gently. DO NOT SLAM THE RECEIVER DOWN. The person at the other end may still have the phone close to his ear, and then a sudden sharp bang can be hurtful as well as rude.

Common Telephone Courtesy Hints

  1. Make sure of the correct number so as not to risk disturbing strangers.
  2. Make sure that your conversations with busy people are as brief as possible.
  3. When calling friends who do not recognize your voice, announce yourself right away.
  4. Time your calls so as not to interfere with the work schedule of those you call.
  5. Make business calls well before the close of the office hours.
  6. After dialing a wrong number simply say, "Sorry, wrong number."
  7. When the number you are calling is not answered quickly, wait long enough for someone to put aside what he or she is doing. It is very annoying to have been disturbed just to pick up the telephone and find the caller has hung up.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Explore the Value of Customer Retention

Customer retention is not only a cost effective and profitable strategy, but in today's business world it's necessary. This is especially true when you remember that 80% of your sales come from 20% of your customer and clients. With these statistics I am wondering why most marketing and sales campaigns are designed for the new customer.

Take for instance the wireless telephone companies; if you sign a new contract you are given a large rebate or even a free cellular telephone. If you are a current customer you have the privilege of paying full price. With this type of promotion are we not just pushing current customers and clients to seek services elsewhere when their contract ends?

Perhaps we need to rethink our marketing and sales strategies, after all many experts will tell you that it's five times more profitable to spend marketing and advertising money to retain current customers than it is to acquire new customers.
However, there is a solution. Sophisticated technology and database equipment has made it possible for specialized firms to make attempts at customer retention through database marketing programs. Establishing a detailed client database will allow these companies to keep track of personal information and individual preferences of all their customers. This enables them to provide better service and value. Just like the corner grocery store owner kept information on 200 customers in his head, the large superstore can now keep track of 20,000 customers through its customer database. With effective implementation of customer databases, companies will be able to re-establish contact with customers, and will be able to work successfully towards increasing customer retention, repeat sales, and customer referrals.
To achieve the objectives of the database and customer retention programs, the entire campaign should be designed and carried out with the customer in mind. The exercise will only be effective if the customer recognizes and associates some value with being part of your database. If they do not perceive value in your program all of your communications, coupons, special offers, and newsletters will be discarded. Your customers have been inundated with meaningless "junk" mail and email spam, so embed your campaign with value.

A few value-add strategies that you can use include:
  • Membership cards and programs that entitle your customers to special offers, discounts, or preferential treatment.
  • Welcome, acknowledgement, sales recognition, thank you statements.
  • After sales satisfaction and complaint inquiries and surveys.
  • Event oriented communications in which the customer is genuinely interested.
  • Enhanced and empowered customer, after sales, and technical support.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter

Stress Management Benefits of Laughter:

  • Hormones: Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.

  • Physical Release: Have you ever felt like you "have to laugh or I'll cry"? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

  • Internal Workout: A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. It even provides a good workout for the heart.

  • Distraction: Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a more beneficial way than other mere distractions.

  • Perspective: Studies show that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a 'threat' or a 'challenge'. Humor can give us a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as 'challenges', thereby making them less threatening and more positive.

  • Social Benefits of Laughter: Laughter connects us with others. Also, laughter is contagious, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize these benefits as well. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels, and perhaps improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them, reducing your stress level even more!

How To Use Laughter:

Laughter is one of my all-time favorite stress management strategies because it's free, convenient, and beneficial in so many ways. You can get more laughter in your life with the following strategies:

  • T.V. and Movies: There's no shortage of laughter opportunities from the entertainment, both at the theater and in the aisles of the video stores, as well as at home with T.V. comedies. While wasting your time watching something marginally funny may actually frustrate you, watching truly hilarious movies and shows is an easy way to get laughter into your life whenever you need it.

  • Laugh with Friends: Going to a movie or comedy club with friends is a great way to get more laughter in your life. The contagious effects of laughter may mean you'll laugh more than you otherwise would have during the show, plus you'll have jokes to reference at later times. Having friends over for a party or game night is also a great setup for laughter and other good feelings.

  • Find Humor In Your Life: Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. If something is so frustrating or depressing it's ridiculous, realize that you could 'look back on it and laugh.' Think of how it will sound as a story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it now. With this attitude, you may also find yourself being more lighthearted and silly, giving yourself and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a more mirthful way and you'll find you're less stressed about negative events, and you'll achieve the health benefits of laughter.

  • 'Fake It Until You Make It': Just as studies show the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, faked laughter also provides the benefits mentioned above. So smile more, and fake laughter; you'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment may lead to real smiles and laughter.

  • More on Having Fun: See these additional suggestions on laughing more and having fun in your life.

"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." Arnold Glasow

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sales call reluctance - Kills Sales and Kills Sales Careers!

How to identify sales calls reluctance?
Fortunately, there are several specific steps you can take to address sales call reluctance in yourself and/or your sales team. Use these tips first to find where call reluctance may be hurting you most:

Look closely at activities for trends and tendencies – It’s fairly simple to see an overall lack of activity. That could indicate any of several forms of call reluctance. Check for specifics such as follow up on referrals. Lack in this area may reveal referral aversion, the avoidance of asking for and following through on referral opportunities. Some will often try to mask this condition by vigorously defending the position with statements such as, "Referrals don’t work in my business/with my customers/in this industry."

Observe during the sales call – What happened when it was time to ask for the business? Did you or your team member shy away? Did you as sales manager have to close the sale? Avoidance of asking for the order is common, known in sales call reluctance as the yielder tendency.

Check telephone prospecting activity – If "dialing for dollars" is important to you or your sales representatives, check on the frequency and quantity of calling. When you find low levels here, the telephobia tendency of sales call reluctance is likely at work and will sabotage even the top professional with the most proven approach.

Use a sales preference assessment – A validated instrument can quantify specific challenges and suggest appropriate steps to address sales call reluctance issues. It also provides a proof source to show members of your sales team, in an objective way, a comprehensive picture of those areas of improvement.

Overcoming the enemy

Once you’ve identified and assessed the problem, you’re ready to take the appropriate steps to reduce and eliminate some of the sales call reluctance present in yourself or your sales team. The steps you take depend on the specific areas requiring the most attention. Here are a few examples:

– One client using this instrument had a simple method to address this. He simply chased the sales representative in question out of the office after a certain hour of the morning. That prevented the seemingly endless preparation, which was taking the place of prospecting and selling activities.

Stage fright – Practice in speaking to a group whose purpose is to help the speaker improve has helped even the most fearful become competent enough to look forward to group presentation opportunities. Overcoming this fear has, in many cases, led to breakthroughs in other areas of sales call reluctance.

Yielder – Role playing, though one of the sales professional’s least favorite activities, is often indicated as practice in asking the prospect or customer to buy. This practice can make it easier to repeat the behaviors when the real-world opportunities come.

You should also be aware that sales managers can and do suffer from sales call reluctance, which can do additional harm to the sales team. Look for these and other areas of sales call reluctance constantly to address and eliminate these obstacles to your sales success.

Within each of us is a hidden store of determination. Determination to keep us in the race when all seems lost - Roger Dawson

Monday, June 22, 2009

Life as it happens......

Sometimes, we welcome problems. But during other times we try really hard to avoid them. But aren't we constantly looking for ways to better face them? here's something to read:

Tired of a life of struggle, a young woman sought her mother's advice. She told her how things were so hard for her and how she was unable to cope with problems. Her mother took her to the kitchen and filled three pots with water. In the first, she put carrots, in the second, she put eggs and in the last, she placed coffee beans. She let them boil without saying a word. Twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners and asked her daughter, "What do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied. The mother drew her closer and told her to feel the carrots. She did and saw that they were soft. She was then asked to take an egg and break it. On shelling, the daughter found a hard-boiled egg. Finally, she was asked to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.Perplexed, she asked, "What's your point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -boiling water - but each had reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but soon turned soft and weak. The egg, when put to the test, had hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. They had changed the texture of the water and filled it with their aroma. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When problems knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

There is much to learn from that fable. Which one are you? Are you the carrot that seems strong, but wilts in the face of pain and adversity? Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but hardens when in adversity? Or, are you like the coffee bean, which actually changes the water, the very circumstance that brings the pain, by its fragrance and flavour. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? There lies the secret to solving problems and handling adversity.

Problems are part and parcel of life. But as they say, where there's a will there's a way. For every problem, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it.

The most natural course of action is to evade the problem or just wish it away, but problems, like cancers, usually stay around and spread. So, it's better to confront the situation before it becomes an emergency.

The real problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. When you accept problems, you also learn to have a contingency plan. For instance, when you know there is a danger of fire, you keep extinguishers handy. The important thing to remember about conflicts is that they happen all the time and they are actually opportunities disguised as problems. They provide us with better ways to fix what needs to be fixed and improve what needs to be improved.

And since most problems are man-made, solutions are within our reach. There are two reasons why we tend to see a problem as a problem: the fact that it has to be solved; and our apprehension about the outcome of the solution.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Assertive behavior

Many people think that being assertive is about being stroppy. It isn't. People's behaviour fits four basic models; passive, aggressive, indirectly aggressive, or assertive.

Passive Behaviour is very common in girls and women, because this is how females are taught to behave. You are being passive when you allow others to be in control and make decisions for you, you don't express your opinions or feelings, and you let your own needs be overlooked. If you tend to simply smile sweetly and say nothing, your behaviour can be described as passive.

Aggressive Behaviour is open and sometimes physical. It includes yelling, physical violence and overt anger. Men are more likely to be aggressive than passive, because male socialisation encourages aggression and competitiveness.

Indirect Aggression occurs when a person is angry or upset, but doesn't express this openly or talk about the problem directly. This is a very common way for men and women to behave. It's an expression of powerlessness an inability to deal constructively with strong feelings. For example, a girl who is upset with her friend might refuse to look at her or speak to her. This is indirect aggression. So is running out of the room in the middle of a conversation and slamming the door. A boy who is upset about not getting into the right footy team and withdraws in a huff is being indirectly aggressive. 'Gossip' is a form of indirect aggression. For example, you might be annoyed with somebody and instead of sorting it out with him, you go and tell all your friends about it. It's a very destructive and unfair way to behave.

Assertive Behaviour is clear and direct communication. Anger and other strong feelings are expressed in a straightforward manner that takes into account the feelings and views of others. Acting in an assertive way builds on a person's self esteem, and the self-esteem of others. It improves people's ability to take charge in their own lives. Assertiveness is about being responsible for yourself, and making your life work for you, instead of being a victim of circumstances. Most people have to learn how to be assertive by doing assertiveness training, because being assertive is not usually part of our social upbringing, for girls or boys.
Even when we know how to be assertive, there are lots of blocks we need to overcome to put what we have learned into practice in our lives. Lack of self confidence is one such block. It's also sometimes very hard to change patterns of relating that we have used for most of our lives. These are some of the things you have to learn to become more assertive.

Steps to improve personal assertiveness;

DON'T BLAME or judge the other person. Just give your own views and express your feelings when it's appropriate.

STOP APOLOGISING You don't have to say "I'm sorry" every time anything goes wrong. Of course if it is your responsibility, there's nothing wrong with apologising when something goes wrong. Girls and women especially tend to put themselves down by saying things like "I'm only a housewife" or "I'm just on work experience". There's no need to apologise to others for doing what might seem unimportant. Everything you do has an importance of its own.

MAKE GOOD EYE CONTACT In Western societies, maintaining eye contact means you are serious and direct. If your head is bowed or eyes averted, you convey the impression of being unimportant. In effect, you are saying "I'm serious, but don't take me seriously. (In some other cultures, for example in Samoa, eye contact can be interpreted as aggressive.)

FACIAL EXPRESSION Your expression should be consistent with what you are saying. There's no point expressing your annoyance about something you don't like if you're smiling in an attempt to soften the blow.

BODY LANGUAGE Keep your body language consistent with the message. Your body language should be relaxed and you should be standing or sitting on the same level as the other person. Pointing, standing over the other person and having your hands on your hips are aggressive. It helps if you feel good about your body.

VOICE Keep your voice low and clear. High-pitched tones don't convey that you are serious.

ACKNOWLEDGE compliments and criticism. You don't have to get embarrassed when somebody tells you something nice about yourself. All you have to do is say "Thank you." Likewise, when you receive criticism, there's no need to make it mean that the person hates you. It only means that you have had some criticism. This gives you the opportunity to grow. Criticism is like a different kind of compliment it means the other person considers you important enough to give you some feedback. It's easier to deal with criticism as you get more assertive.

SAY NO when you mean no. Learn how to say "no" when that's what you want. And if somebody says "no" to you, it doesn't have to be the end of the world. Respect that person's right to be honest with you.

LEARN HOW TO express your anger assertively. This means learning to recognise when you are angry, owning your anger rather than denying to yourself that you are angry.
Once you recognise that you are angry, you can learn to control it instead of letting it control you. Deciding how or whether to express it is the hard part. If you're committed to being honest with the other person, he or she will probably benefit from hearing what you have to say.
It's better to express your feelings directly than to pretend there's nothing wrong and just withdraw from her. But you have to be careful expressing anger to others, because it can be very threatening.

Give Yourself Positive Messages

Once you have identified that never ending tape in your head, you will be able to see that you are constantly giving yourself messages about yourself. A lot of these will be negative, and they are called negative self messages.
For example, you might say to yourself when you make a mistake "I'm so stupid, I'll never learn, I'll always be an idiot."
The first step in becoming more assertive is to catch yourself when 'you are giving yourself a negative self message, and change it to a positive one.
This one could become "I've made a mistake, I won't make that one again,because I've learned from that mistake."

A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done .

- Vince Lombardi

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Overcome procrastination once and for all

Why We Procrastinate?

Before we can solve the problem of procrastination we must understand why we do it. There are a few basic reasons:
  • Feeling overwhelmed with a situation.
  • Given up hope that a situation can be changed or affected.
  • Afraid of failing.
  • Too “Busy” to get the really important things done.
  • Can’t make a decision.
  • Overworked, tired.
  • Want to avoid work you don’t like.

Tips to Overcome Procrastination

  • Know your most important goals and values.
  • Only do tasks that contribute to those goals and values.
  • Mentally link tasks to the pleasurable outcomes you seek.
  • Plan your day & week.
  • Do, but don’t overdo. Rest when needed.
  • Break down big tasks.
  • Get help making decisions.
  • Believe in yourself!
  • Trick & Treat!

If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can't accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through. - Rosalyn Carter

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

SMART Goal Setting

I encourage you to pick up a pen and a piece of paper and jot down the goals you want to reach. Look at each goal and evaluate it. Make any changes necessary to ensure it meets the criteria for a SMART goals:

S = Specific M = Measurable A = Attainable R = Realistic T = Timely


Goals should be straightforward and emphasize what you want to happen. Specifics help us to focus our efforts and clearly define what we are going to do.
Specific is the What, Why, and How of the SMART model.
WHAT are you going to do? Use action words such as direct, organize, coordinate, lead, develop, plan, build etc.
WHY is this important to do at this time? What do you want to ultimately accomplish?
HOW are you going to do it? (By...)
Ensure the goals you set is very specific, clear and easy. Instead of setting a goal to lose weight or be healthier, set a specific goal to lose 2cm off your waistline or to walk 5 miles at an aerobically challenging pace.
If you can't measure it, you can't manage it. In the broadest sense, the whole goal statement is a measure for the project; if the goal is accomplished, the is a success. However, there are usually several short-term or small measurements that can be built into the goal.
Choose a goal with measurable progress, so you can see the change occur. How will you see when you reach your goal? Be specific! "I want to read 3 chapter books of 100 pages on my own before my birthday" shows the specific target to be measure. "I want to be a good reader" is not as measurable.
Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goals.
When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop that attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. Your begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
Goals you set which are too far out of your reach, you probably won't commit to doing. Although you may start with the best of intentions, the knowledge that it's too much for you means your subconscious will keep reminding you of this fact and will stop you from even giving it your best.
A goal needs to stretch you slightly so you feel you can do it and it will need a real commitment from you. For instance, if you aim to lose 20lbs in one week, we all know that isn't achievable. But setting a goal to loose 1lb and when you've achieved that, aiming to lose a further 1lb, will keep it achievable for you. The feeling of success which this brings helps you to remain motivated.
This is not a synonym for "easy." Realistic, in this case, means "do-able." It means that the learning curve is not a vertical slope; that the skills needed to do the work are available; that the project fits with the overall strategy and goals of the organization. A realistic project may push the skills and knowledge of the people working on it but it shouldn't break them.
Devise a plan or a way of getting there which makes the goal realistic. The goal needs to be realistic for you and where you are at the moment. A goal of never again eating sweets, cakes, crisps and chocolate may not be realistic for someone who really enjoys these foods.
For instance, it may be more realistic to set a goal of eating a piece of fruit each day instead of one sweet item. You can then choose to work towards reducing the amount of sweet products gradually as and when this feels realistic for you.
Be sure to set goals that you can attain with some effort! Too difficult and you set the stage for failure, but too low sends the message that you aren't very capable. Set the bar high enough for a satisfying achievement!
Set a timeframe for the goal: for next week, in three months, by fifth grade. Putting an end point on your goal gives you a clear target to work towards.
If you don't set a time, the commitment is too vague. It tends not to happen because you feel you can start at any time. Without a time limit, there's no urgency to start taking action now.
Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic. Everyone will benefit from goals and objectives if they are SMART. SMART, is the instrument to apply in setting your goals and objectives.

"Ideas are funny little things. They don't work unless you do." - Anonymous

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How to program your goals into your subconscious?

Here are 2 simple exercises you can use right away to program your goals into your subconscious mind.
  • Create a dream board.
    Create a pictorial version of the goal that you want to achieve and paste it at a place where you can see everyday. A good place is your study table or at the right hand corner of the windscreen of your car.
    Richard Brooke wrote in his book Mach II With Your Hair On Fire that he purchased a mock-up of the cover of SUCCESS Magazine with his picture on the cover and looked at it every day. 9 years later, he was chosen for the cover of SUCCESS Magazine.
    These stories are not coincidence. That’s the power of the subconscious mind.
    As what Earl Nightingale said, "The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts."
    Scientists will tell you that this method works because of the R.A.S. (Reticular Activating System) in our brain, which is our antenna or radar that attract things that we focus to us.

  • Write your goals every night just before you sleep.
    Every night, just before you sleep, write down your top 5 goals, 20 times each. Continue to repeat your goals in your mind until you fell asleep.
    The reason for this exercise is to dominate your mind with your goals while your subconscious mind is most active.

    The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense - Thomas Edison

Monday, June 15, 2009

Increase Motivation

If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results. Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives. These 21 tactics will help you maximize motivation in yourself and others.
  • Consequences - Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?

  • Pleasure - This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.

  • Performance incentives - Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.

  • Detailed instructions - If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.

  • Short and long term goals - Use both short and long term goals to guide the action process and create an overall philosophy.

  • Kindness - Get people on your side and they’ll want to help you. Piss them off and they’ll do everything they can to screw you over.

  • Deadlines - Many people are most productive right before a big deadline. They also have a hard time focusing until that deadline is looming overhead. Use this to your advantage by setting up a series of mini-deadlines building up to an end result.

  • Team Spirit - Create an environment of camaraderie. People work more effectively when they feel like part of team — they don’t want to let others down.

  • Recognize achievement - Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.

  • Personal stake - Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.

  • Concentrate on outcomes - No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.

  • Trust and Respect - Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.

  • Create challenges - People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.

  • Let people be creative - Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas.

  • Constructive criticism - Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.

  • Demand improvement - Don’t let people stagnate. Each time someone advances raise the bar a little higher (especially for yourself).

  • Make it fun - Work is most enjoyable when it doesn’t feel like work at all. Let people have fun and the positive environment will lead to better results.

  • Create opportunities - Give people the opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work will pay off.

  • Communication - Keep the communication channels open. By being aware of potential problems you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.

  • Make it stimulating - Mix it up. Don’t ask people to do the same boring tasks all the time. A stimulating environment creates enthusiasm and the opportunity for “big picture” thinking.

    Master these key points and you’ll increase motivation with a bit of hard work.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Top 3 Success Habits That You Must Develop

Do you want to be successful? If your answer is a yes, this is the right place for you because you will discover the top 3 success habits that you must develop in order to be successful in your life. Many people thought that success is about being lucky or talented. But it is not, being successful is all about habits. If you possess the success habits, you will live a successful life.

Every decision you make and every action you take in your life is affected by your habits. If you are someone who hates to take risk, you will never make any investment. Even if you do, you will never stay calm and miss the right opportunity. Therefore, if you want to be successful today, develop these top 3 success habits now...

1. Develop the habit of goal setting. By writing down what you want to achieve in your life, you will make your dreams into a more tangible form and you will also activate the law of attraction. Your goals will keep you focus in your life and direct you into the direction of where you want to be. Successful people know exactly what they want and they set a clear goal to achieve it. Therefore, you must do the same to get what you want.

2. The second success habit you must develop is the habit of taking consistent action each and everyday. Without action, nothing is going to happen. It is useless if you read a book teaching you how to cook but you never put the knowledge into use. You need to take action to make what you want to come true. Success will not come automatically. It is by taking consistent action that you will eventually get what you want in your life.

3. Last but not least, you must develop the success habit of constant and never-ending improvement. Commit yourself to wake up 1 hour earlier and read a book in your related field. If you do this consistently for a few years, you will be able to become the top 5% in your industry. The moment you stop to learn and improve, you will stop to grow. Successful people learn all the time by reading materials related in their field. You must do the same.

These are the top 3 success habits that you must develop in order to be successful. As long as you follow through and put in commitment into doing it, you will definitely achieve what you really want in your life.

"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there." -Indira Gandhi

Friday, June 12, 2009

How To Keep A Positive Attitude

Keeping a positive attitude at the work placeis easier with these key steps
The following steps to maintain a positive attitude at the work place could help you to take it easy and be at peace with the job situation you currently have:
  • Firstly, remember always that what you give in, you take out. So if you have a bad job, badly paid or with terrible bosses, ask yourself what are you doing to manifest that reality. What attitude do you keep towards your job?
    Be relaxed and smiley and you will soon see how that reflects around you.

  • Start looking at your job with kind eyes. Make a list of all the positive aspects of your job: perhaps you work in an office and don't have to suffer the weather; perhaps you deal with people that you can learn from. Find inspiration in these reasons to go to work.
    When you focus on the good aspects of your job and feel thankful for them, you attract more of them.

  • Talk about what works. As in every job, not everything is perfect or goes well. But if you've realized, most people at work talk about what does not work.
    You can choose to make a difference and talk about what does work: the way the new software has made a certain task easier, the good relationships with whatever manager, the last accomplishment of the company.

  • Be diligent and proactive. On the one hand, if you don't like your tasks you will "suffer" them for longer if you delay doing them.
    On the other hand, when you finish all you have to do you achieve a sense of accomplishment and the inner peace that everything is done.

  • Do the most difficult thing. For a certain time, I chose to do the most difficult thing at my job. That not only made me feel great about my capabilities, but also helped me grow as a person and gained me a promotion and a pay rise within six months. Much more than I had bargained for!

  • Be positive. Whether you have problems at home or in any other area, or feel negative for any reason, don't be the complainer that goes around telling how difficult your life is.
    You don't want to give the image of someone who cannot deal with life, but rather of someone who accepts what is and has a positive attitude outlook. Everybody wants to associate with a positive person; a negative person is frequently avoided.

  • Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know at each moment. Sometimes I may think, "Why does that person keeps on doing that task in such a terrible manner?", and stir in myself negative feelings; it does help a lot to remember that everybody is doing the best they can, just like you, and that nobody has an instructions manual on how to do everything perfectly.

  • Ideally you would relate to everybody, but make it a point to relate to positive people specially. Go with your intuition and your observations on those people who always have a smile, who talk about possibilities, and who show a zest for life.

"Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain." -Mark Twain

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Avoiding Work-Life Conflicts: Keeping Your Work at Work

Share Priorities with Your Boss. I have found it helpful to talk with my boss about the things that are important. And for me, that includes family time. We talk regularly about projects I am involved with and the timelines involved. But he also knows that there will be times when I need to be with my family. Actually, keeping my family important and giving them time after work makes me a less distracted employee at work.

Schedule Family Time.
Put appointments on your Blackberry or your electronic calendar at work for family events and keep the appointments. Or consolidate all your family commitments with an online family calendar that can be synced with your work calendar.

Have Realistic Expectations. Millionaire publisher Steve Forbes often counsels his executives to "not be slaves to your inbasket. Just because there is something there doesn't mean you have to do it right now." Recognize that your job is likely never done, and never will be, no matter how many hours you work.

Create Rituals. One friend has a large tree in his front yard near the door. Each evening when he returns home from work, he touches the tree and figuratively transfers his work concerns and stresses onto a low tree branch before he enters the house. The next morning, he touches the tree again and picks them up as he leaves for work. That has worked for him for years keeping work "outside" his family's home. Find a ritual that works for you.

Cut or Use Commuting Time.
If you live far away from work, consider commuting by transit so you can transition from work to home with less stress. If possible, move closer to work and shrink your commute so you have more time at home.

Set Limits on Venting. If you have a tendency to come home and dump your work frustrations on your family, it's OK but don't let it go all night. Set a 15 minute limit on talking about work frustrations, and make sure you allow your spouse the same privilege. Then quit and focus on family.

Turn Off the Electronics. Unless you are in the midst of a crisis at work, turn off the cell phone and Blackberry when you get home. Or at least set them on silent and put them on a shelf until the kids are in bed. Even in the most demanding jobs, there are few things that can't wait until morning.

Schedule Work-Free Times. One friend I know sets Monday and Wednesday nights from 5:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. as work free zones. No calls are taken, no text messages or emails are read during these times; he is a dad and husband during those hours. He lets people at work know, lets his friends know, and lets his voice mail take the calls. Others set aside Sunday all day as a work free time. Some families make sure they set aside one night each week for a family night Consider setting some hours that are sacred and committed to your family.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


If I would leave any thought with someone I would say never doubt yourself. No matter what people say, no matter what you may think sometimes, never doubt yourself.

If you believe in yourself you will succeed far more than you will fail. He who possesses a quiet kind of faith in his ability to perform a task already has the task half completed.

Believe in yourself despite setbacks, despite the seemingly immovable obstacles, despite the cold and dark, despite the woe and pain, and eventually your faith will come to fruition, and you will find all those troubles behind you.

The simplest thing in the world is to deride ourselves because we made a mistake, to give up and say, "I'm no good", but the more difficult thing is to believe in ourselves and constructively continue our life.

The greatest error in life is to downgrade ourselves. The most horrible tragedies in life have occurred from a lack of faith in one's own self, one's own ability, from a belief that one cannot succeed, but that failure is their sole lot in life.

There seems to be a self uncertainty that builds up in the mind every time one makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a task, and with every successive blunder the uncertainty grows stronger until one doubts one's ability to do anything right.

Being human we are host to a number of frailties, each one of which disturbs and depresses us, and makes us doubt our worth.

We are not a mechanically precise machine, we are a bundle of nerves which often tangle and get jangled, but are capable of amazing performance.

We have more strength than we believe, there is more fight within us than we know, and far more potential than we could ever call forth or even dream of being possible.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

You Are Worthy

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do not give up when you still have something to give.Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly;In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Do not dismiss your dreams.To be without dreams is to be without hope;To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.


There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.

There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be"
So face the world, and all life is yours
To conquer and love and live:
And you'll find the happiness that endures
In just the measure you give;
There's nothing too good for you to possess,
Nor heights where you cannot go:
Your power is more than belief or guess
It is something you have to know.

There is nothing to fear, you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill
There's nothing you cannot do.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Tips to improve concentration

All of us know the importance of concentration skills. Below are given some tips to help you develop better concentration whether you are working, studying or doing anything.

  • A simple exercise to increase concentration: This is a simple exercise to improve concentration which can be done anytime you want to study or do an important task and want your mind to be focused on the task.On a blackboard or a large piece of paper taped to the wall, draw large sideways figure 8s (the infinity symbol) over and over with the right hand, the left hand, and both hands. If you don't have paper, do the drawing motion in the air. Start drawing really large sideways figure 8s and continue making the figure smaller and smaller until you are drawing really tiny Figures. You are then ready to begin homework, or any work that requires concentration.If anytime during your work you feel you are losing concentration, stop the work and do figure 8 exercise again. This exercise can also be done with closed eyes by imagining drawing figure 8's.This exercise helps to activate both the right and left visual fields and hence makes the brain more focused.

  • Do one thing at a time, set aside specific time period: It helps concentration if you just do one thing at a time giving it your complete undivided attention. Multitasking (doing many things simultaneously) will make you distracted and it is an ineffective way of doing things contrary to what many people believe. Do one thing at a time in order to develop concentration. If you are trying to think of giving presentation at office, or studying for your exam - for the next 30 minutes or so, just think of that alone. Focus your mind on the details of the job and how you plan to do it. Let not your attention wander to other things during this time.

  • Do something as if for first or last time: We take a lot of everyday things for granted and do not observe as intently as we should. In order to develop focus and observation, try to look at tasks which you do everyday as if you are doing or seeing them for the first or the last time. This will encourage you to observe details which you may have missed before, thus improving your observation, concentration and also in gaining new insights.

  • Unclutter your mind by writing down : While doing something important, if other worries are invading your mind thus affecting your concentration then an effective way to overcome this problem is to write down any concern you might be having on a piece of paper, next to it write down a date or time when you want to deal with this problem. Writing it down this way will help in uncluttering your mind so that it is free to concentrate on the task at hand.

  • Reward yourself: Decide before starting your work how you would like to reward yourself when you finish. The reward can be anything that makes you happy and relaxed - like having your favorite food, going out for a walk, meeting your best friend etc. It doesn't have to be something big, any activity that gives you pleasure and takes your mind off work for some time will do. This system of rewarding yourself will increase motivation for doing things.

  • Be project specific : Before you start any work, be clear in your mind as to what you want to accomplish. Before sitting down to study for exams, be clear what chapter you want to study now, how much time do you intend to study etc. Be as specific as possible and move on to some other task only after you complete this.

  • Avoid unnecessary movements: People who have short attention spans and faulty concentration are usually restless people. If you watch them you will notice them making a lot of unnecessary movements like shaking hands and legs while sitting, talking etc.While those people who have sound concentration are usually calm and composed, they sit and stand still without any unnecessary movements. Avoiding unnecessary movements will help you preserve your valuable energy, maintain composure and improve concentration.

  • Try to find comfortable relaxed noise-free atmosphere without distractions: When you are working on something, give it your undivided attention and try to minimize distractions as much as possible. Try avoiding visual distractions by pulling curtains on windows if you are sitting near one.

  • Foods that increases concentration:" Any vitamin deficiency can lead to difficulty with concentration," says Chris D. Meletis, ND, chief medical officer at the National College of Naturopathic Medicine. Including Vitamins in your daily diet should help in improving concentration. Iron deficiency can also lead to poor concentration and irritability. High haem iron foods like meat, fish and chicken should be helpful in enhancing concentration. Also take food and juices rich in Vitamin C. Try drinking a glassful of fresh fruit juice or drink black tea with lemon.

  • Be gentle with yourself: If any thoughts come to your mind then gently drive them away, and bring your mind back to the subject at hand. Do not try to force out the thoughts, it works better if you are gentle. If any thought is important one which you would like to pay attention to later, then write it down on paper as mentioned in tip #5 above.

  • Use a concentration scoresheet: Whenever doing some important work, use a concentration scoresheet. Each time you find your mind wandering, make a check mark on the sheet. If you do this on consistent basis, you may find that you have far fewer check marks and far greater concentration.

  • Break task into smaller parts: Breaking a task into smaller parts will make it seem less daunting and help you approach it with more positivity. If you are trying to study a textbook for exam, then you can make a goal of finishing one chapter at a time.

  • Concentration exercises: Concentration exercises help in training your mind to concentrate more and for longer periods of time.

  • Do a thing wholeheartedly: If you approach something half-heartedly, it can show in the quality of the work. In order to do things better, do them with interest. Whatever you are doing, try to find some aspect of it that interests you. If you can find something interesting in each thing you do, you can enjoy even the most mundane and boring tasks.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

My Intuition.

It’s a Sunday and for me it was more of a FUNDAY!

Mom was in Shirdi with my family. I was chilling the whole day catching up with the latest news on television and newspapers, with most of the day spent without clothes, thanks to the heat… yes the heat in Mumbai is soaring, I thought monsoon was around the corner, but it is no where in sight and i was almost naked enjoying the sun rays on my skin in my garden, loitering in my house in my jockey most of the day.

I did not go to Shirdi with MOM, for I resent that lord for some reason, I go back immediately to December 26th 2007 whenever I think of that lord, Saibaba.

My grand mother was a devoted follower of his, I remember, she was in her deathbed, in coma, when I and my aunt jayanti saw her violently pleading to the lord to save her life, while the nurses in the hospital held my Amma’s hand to control her jumping out of the various saline’s that she was surviving on.

We saw her jostling and praying and saying SAIBABA SAIBABA from that 12 inch by 12 inch window of the ICU door. She wanted to live, I wanted her to live, I wanted to take her in my swift car to Shirdi one day.

The swift never came, Amma never lived.

It was the 26th of December morning that I was told by Makarand uncle to go to his atm and get some money, have a tea at home and come back to the hospital with that money.

I had stayed all night at the hospital, went to the ATM, took the money, on my way on my uncles old BAJAJ scooter stopped at the Saibaba temple, prayed for my amma’s life for I had an intuition something terrible was on its way but as long as I had my saibaba on my side, I needn’t worry. With a lot of self developed courage in the temple and trusting saibaba would do his job, I went home.
The door was opened by Dinesh suvarna, my aunt’s friend, and as he opened he said "I am sorry". I knew what he meant. I just didn’t want to accept it. I was cold and calm. I drove back to the hospital at about 7.20 am.

Amma was dead… My intuition was right…… And saibaba failed; somehow I have developed distrust in that lord….

So didn’t go to Shirdi, but my mom went yesterday with my aunt and uncle and my cousin Meghana in a hired Chevrolet Tavera. While they left at 7.30 in the morning and as the car took the turn at the end of the road, I had an intuition again, I saw them all dead and I living my life all alone with my dad. I ridiculed it but the fear somewhere still chilled my spine.

Today, a Sunday, I get a call by my Uncle…..THEY HAVE HAD AN ACCIDENT AND WERE HIT BY A BUS…..

They have bruises and are bleeding; my mom is cold and scared. I knew it. My intuition has come true again…

I am confused and scared…….Is it my intuition that is turning into reality???? For I want to now stop thinking negative, I better think positive, for whatever I think it is coming true….Let not my dear ones suffer o lord…I beg for forgiveness.. . I am sorry for my misdeeds.

Please keep my family happy, healthy ALWAYS… Take my life instead.



Saturday, June 6, 2009

What I Have Learnt

I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many years you've lived.

I've learned - that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.

I've learned - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

l've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned - that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned - that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned - that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned - That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Think, Believe, Dream and Dare

An eight-year-old boy approached an old man in front of a wishing well, looked up into his eyes, and asked: "I understand you're a very wise man. I'd like to know the secret of life."
The old man looked down at the youngster and replied: "I've thought a lot in my lifetime, and the secret can be summed up in four words.

The first is think. Think about the values you wish to live your life by.

The second is believe. Believe in yourself based on the thinking you've done about the values you're going to live your life by.

The third is dream. Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief in yourself and the values you're going to live by.

The last is dare. Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your belief in yourself and your values."

And with that, Walter E. Disney said to the little boy, "Think, Believe, Dream, and Dare."

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Believe In Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.

That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.
So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.
Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

How to Sell More Effectively by Asking the Right Questions


  • Make your prospect feel like you care. Many people long simply to be heard and understood. By focusing on your prospects and their problems through questions, you will show that you genuinely care about hearing their problems. And you should genuinely care, because you want to find out as much information as you can about their problems, especially how they perceive their problems.

  • Use questions to gather information which you can then use to position your product or service more effectively. Too many salespeople assume that they fully understand their prospects' problems. You need to ask questions at the right time about the right things in order to get the information you need to make the sale, or else you might lose credibility and lose the sale forever.

  • Ask questions that'll make your prospects aware of the consequences of their actions or inactions. At the end of the day, you will not be able to push your prospects into the sale. This is what most salespeople try to do. We have worked with countless salespeople who think that their product is the answer to their prospect's problem, and they push and push and push to show their prospect that they have the answer. But people resist, especially when you push too hard. That's why you must use questions not only to find out about your prospects' problems but also to make your prospect aware of the consequences of their actions or rather inactions, that is, what could happen to them if they don't buy your product.

  • Remember that all questions aren't equal. Some types of questions are more powerful than others. There are two basic types of effective sales questions.
  • - Trigger Questions. Just like a psychiatrist, your job is to get your prospect to open up and tell you what is on their mind. To do this, you must ask open-ended questions, that is, questions that require them to respond with a relatively complex answer rather than a simple yes or no. Remember, you want to get them talking. Closed questions, which allow your prospect to answer you with a yes or a no, don't get them to open up. Open-ended questions do. There are many types of effective question formats, but when in doubt, rely on the open-ended questions called Trigger Questions. Here are some examples of basic -- Trigger Questions:
    1) Can you tell me more about??
    2) Can you be more specific??
    3) Can you give me an example??
  • - Floater Questions. Another type of question allows you to test the waters and determine what your prospect is thinking is the Floater Question. Floater Questions enable you to ask hypothetical what-if questions that may help you to ask what might otherwise be uncomfortable questions to your prospects. Here are some examples of Floater Questions that the top salespeople use:
  • 1) I don't know if this is appropriate to ask right now, but what would you say if we made the following offer?? You see, the person isn't making a real offer, s/he is just floating one by the prospect to see the reaction.
    2) Let's say ____, then what happens next??
    3) Let's pretend ________ then would you??
    4) If I could get my colleagues to ..., do you think you could get your colleagues to???
    5) What would you say if???
    6) What would you do if???
    7) Would you buy today if???

  • Again, what you are doing is feeling your prospect out by putting them in a hypothetical situation. They will give you at least some idea of how much they are willing to spend, or what is important in the negotiation for them, or how close to buying they are.

    1) Make it easy for the customer to order.
    2) If you do not have the product or service the customer needs -- help him or her find that product or service.
    3) Don't focus on selling: focus on helping the prospect.
    4) Give the prospect all the information he or she needs.
    5) A sales program is concerned with three questions you must answer: (a) what are you selling?, (b) who are you going to sell it to? and (c) how are you going to sell it? Answer those and your sales program practically writes itself

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Estimating Time Accurately

Accurate time estimation is a skill essential to good project management. It is important to get time estimates right for two main reasons:
  • Time estimates drive the setting of deadlines for delivery of projects, and hence peoples' assessments of your reliability
  • They often determine the pricing of contracts and hence their profitability.

Usually people vastly underestimate the amount of time needed to implement projects. This is true particularly when they are not familiar with the task to be carried out. They forget to take into account unexpected events or unscheduled high priority work. People also often simply fail to allow for the full complexity involved with a job.

Once you have a detailed list of all the tasks that you must achieve, make your best guess at how long each task will take to complete. Ensure that within your estimate you also allow time for project management, detailed project planning, liaison with outside bodies, meetings, quality assurance and any supporting documentation necessary.

Also make sure that you have allowed time for:
  • Other high urgency tasks to be carried out which will have priority over this one
  • Accidents and emergencies
  • Internal meetings
  • Holidays and sickness in essential staff
  • Contact with other customers, perhaps to arrange the next job
  • Breakdowns in equipment
  • Missed deliveries by suppliers
  • Interruptions
  • Quality control rejections

These factors may double (or more than double) the length of time needed to complete a project.

If the accuracy of time estimates is critical, you may find it effective to develop a systematic approach to including these factors. If possible, base this on past experience.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Major Obstacle to Financial Success

By: Brian Tracy

The major mental obstacle to financial success is that some people believe that they don't really deserve to be rich.

The Biggest Demotivator of All
They have been raised with a steady drumbeat of destructive criticism, as I was, that has led them to conclude, at an unconscious level, that they don't really deserve to be successful and happy. The worst effect of negative experiences in childhood, which are all too common, is that when people actually do succeed as the result of hard work, they feel guilty. These guilt feelings then cause them to do things to get rid of the money, to throw it away. They spend it or invest it foolishly. They lend it, lose it or give it away. They engage in self-sabotage, in the form of overeating, excessive drinking, drug usage, marital infidelity and often dramatic personality changes. To change your results with money, you have to change your attitude toward it.

Treat Money With Care and Attention
The fact is that money is very much like a lover. It must be courted and coaxed and flattered and treated with care and attention. It gravitates toward people who respect it and value it and are capable of doing worthwhile things with it. It flows through the fingers and flees from people who do not understand it, or who do not take proper care of it.

Become Skilled With Money
Sometimes people say that they are not very good with money. But being good with money is a skill that anyone can learn through practice. Usually, saying that one is not very good with money is merely an excuse or a rationalization for the fact that the person is not very successful or disciplined with money. The person has not learned how to acquire it or to hold on to it.

Be A No-Limit Thinker
The starting point of accumulating money is for you to believe that you have an unlimited capacity to obtain all the money that you will ever need. Look upon yourself as a financial success just waiting for a place to happen. And see yourself as deserving all you can honestly acquire.

Open Any Door
Money is good. Money gives you choices and enables you to live your life the way you want to live it. Money opens doors for you that would have been closed in its absence. But just like anything, an obsession can be hurtful. If a person becomes so preoccupied with money that he loses sight of the fact that money is merely a tool that is to be used to acquire happiness, then money becomes a harmful thing.

Money is Neutral
The Bible says, "The love of money is the root of all evil." It doesn't say, "money is the root of all evil." It says, "the love of money is the root of all evil." It is the preoccupation with money, to the exclusion of the really important things in life that is the problem, not the money itself. Money is essential to our lives in society. It is also neutral. It is neither good nor bad. It is only the way that it is acquired and the uses to which it is put that determines whether it is helpful or hurtful.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:First, recognize and accept that virtually everyone who has money today at one time was broke and probably broke for a long time. Then they learned the skills of accumulating money and they are now financially independent. Whatever they have done, you can probably do as well.Second, become a student of money from this day forward. Study it, learn about it and apply the lessons you discover toward your own financial life until you begin to attract more and more money in your direction.