Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Are You Having Trouble Forgiving Someone?






Are You Having Trouble Forgiving Someone?

By Tim Connor
Why is it so hard for people to forgive.
In every relationship each partner will from time to time behave in such a manner that their partner will have the opportunity to forgive them or hold on to the blame, resentment, anger or disappointment.

The willingness to forgive is an important ingredient all successful, peaceful, happy and positive relationships. The ability to forgive will be a useful tool in your relationship if it is used in a timely and effective way. It can be a negative one if used as a manipulation device to get your partner to relent, beg, plead or grovel for your willingness to let go of the hurt, pain or frustration.
Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook for their transgressions or mistakes. Its primary function and value is to let you off the hook from the damaging consequences of carrying around allot of suppressed negative feelings.

So lets talk about what forgiveness is, what it isn't and how to learn to use this powerful relationship device.

Forgiveness is many things but it is most of all:

One, A letting go of the responsibility for the actions, feelings and behavior of your partner.

Two, It is taking the power back in your life for your own feelings, attitudes and behavior.

Three, It is freeing yourself from the negative emotions connected with the other persons behavior.

Why does it feel so painful when we are hurt by our partner's behavior, actions or words? We feel betrayed, let down, afraid, insecure, out of control, compromised. stupid, victimized and disappointed .

Since many of the reactions and emotions when we are hurt by our partner are negative why do they do the things that cause our pain or anger. First of all they don't do the things to us they just do them. Second they do them for any number of other reasons such as: they are human, they are unskilled at relationship issues, they have their own stuff that they are dealing with in their own consciousness, they don't think, they think we deserve it, they set us up, they don't know they are hurting us, they hurt us for our own good, they hurt us as a result of spill-overs from their own life issues, they hurt us because they don't care and they hurt us because they are on their own path learning the lessons in life that are theirs to learn.

You must remember that one of the reasons your partner is in your life is that they are a mirror for you. You brought them into your life to help you learn more about your self and the lessons you must deal with while on your path to wholeness.
There are many things that get in the way of forgiveness. Some of the more common elements are; ego, stress, poor communication skills, a lack of vulnerability or realness, a lack of honest self disclosure, an attitude that they are right, a desire to not be seen as soft or weak, especially in men, fear and stubbornness.

What about the ultimate benefits of forgiveness. This is the real purpose of forgiveness, to release all the pent up emotions or feelings that will ultimately contribute to poor health if you elect to hang on to them long enough.
The benefits are the release of negative energy, a clearing of the air, it opens the gate to intimacy, you become free of the past, you can move forward in the relationship and you will experience increased trust and security.
The costs of an unwillingness to forgive I am sure are obvious but for the record they are, poor health, emotional distance, broken relationships, stress, frustration and guarded or closed communication and unfinished business.
I have often been asked in my seminar on relationships two vital questions. First, is it possible to forgive someone that you will never see again either because of physical distance or death?

The answer is yes. They may or may not be aware of your forgiveness but remember its primary function is for you not them. The second question I am often asked is are their limits to what you should forgive? The question is no. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

An example I have used is that in a former life I did (according to my partner) a number of things that in her opinion were criteria for divorce. I have asked a number of people if I had done those things to them would they have asked for a divorce. The answer was always no, but that is not my point. If I were to call my former wife to forgive her for her behavior during our separation I am confident her attitude would be that she didn't do anything that required my forgiveness. So here I am I need to release all of this stuff, but I can send it to her without her rejection. Does that mean I am doomed to carry all of this stuff with me to my grave? NO. I sent her my love, light and my forgiveness out into the universe. I released all of my anger, pain and grief. She may or may not be aware of it but I am. And that is all that matters.

One area that we have not touched on so far which is by far the most critical element in forgiveness is the ability to forgive yourself.
Look at your own life in retrospect. What un-forgiveness are you carrying around in your mind that needs to be released. I will bet that you are either consciously or unconsciously punishing yourself for any number of words spoken or not spoken, deeds done or not done, mistakes, failures and behavior that you should have had or not had.

You need to let go of all of this negative baggage about yourself for all the same reasons you need to do it for another person.
There are four stages of forgiveness. The hurting stage, the hating stage, the healing stage and the coming together. Everyone spends a different amount of time in each stage. Everyone experiences and expresses themselves differently while in each stage. The key is to recognize that they exist and to be aware of your behavior while in each stage.

There are a few steps that you can follow to speed up the forgiveness process. They are;
One, learn to see the divinity in your partner. Two, recognize that they are not their behavior. They are so much more than the transgression, words or mistakes. Three, Know that most people are doing the best that they can with what they have at the time. Four, Practice forgiveness in little things before you tackle a biggie. Five, Is this person or situation worth getting sick over. Six, the mind can't hold love and hate in it at the same time, it can't hold un-forgiveness and acceptance in it at the same time. So choose your actions.
You and I are responsible to our partners but not for them. We are responsible for ourselves in the relationship but not their behavior or feelings. We are not responsible to but for. Subtle difference in definition but major difference in attitude or philosophy.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/280860

Are You Having Trouble Forgiving Someone?

Are You Having Trouble Forgiving Someone?

By Tim Connor
Why is it so hard for people to forgive.
In every relationship each partner will from time to time behave in such a manner that their partner will have the opportunity to forgive them or hold on to the blame, resentment, anger or disappointment.

The willingness to forgive is an important ingredient all successful, peaceful, happy and positive relationships. The ability to forgive will be a useful tool in your relationship if it is used in a timely and effective way. It can be a negative one if used as a manipulation device to get your partner to relent, beg, plead or grovel for your willingness to let go of the hurt, pain or frustration.
Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook for their transgressions or mistakes. Its primary function and value is to let you off the hook from the damaging consequences of carrying around allot of suppressed negative feelings.

So lets talk about what forgiveness is, what it isn't and how to learn to use this powerful relationship device.

Forgiveness is many things but it is most of all:

One, A letting go of the responsibility for the actions, feelings and behavior of your partner.

Two, It is taking the power back in your life for your own feelings, attitudes and behavior.

Three, It is freeing yourself from the negative emotions connected with the other persons behavior.

Why does it feel so painful when we are hurt by our partner's behavior, actions or words? We feel betrayed, let down, afraid, insecure, out of control, compromised. stupid, victimized and disappointed .

Since many of the reactions and emotions when we are hurt by our partner are negative why do they do the things that cause our pain or anger. First of all they don't do the things to us they just do them. Second they do them for any number of other reasons such as: they are human, they are unskilled at relationship issues, they have their own stuff that they are dealing with in their own consciousness, they don't think, they think we deserve it, they set us up, they don't know they are hurting us, they hurt us for our own good, they hurt us as a result of spill-overs from their own life issues, they hurt us because they don't care and they hurt us because they are on their own path learning the lessons in life that are theirs to learn.

You must remember that one of the reasons your partner is in your life is that they are a mirror for you. You brought them into your life to help you learn more about your self and the lessons you must deal with while on your path to wholeness.
There are many things that get in the way of forgiveness. Some of the more common elements are; ego, stress, poor communication skills, a lack of vulnerability or realness, a lack of honest self disclosure, an attitude that they are right, a desire to not be seen as soft or weak, especially in men, fear and stubbornness.

What about the ultimate benefits of forgiveness. This is the real purpose of forgiveness, to release all the pent up emotions or feelings that will ultimately contribute to poor health if you elect to hang on to them long enough.
The benefits are the release of negative energy, a clearing of the air, it opens the gate to intimacy, you become free of the past, you can move forward in the relationship and you will experience increased trust and security.
The costs of an unwillingness to forgive I am sure are obvious but for the record they are, poor health, emotional distance, broken relationships, stress, frustration and guarded or closed communication and unfinished business.
I have often been asked in my seminar on relationships two vital questions. First, is it possible to forgive someone that you will never see again either because of physical distance or death?

The answer is yes. They may or may not be aware of your forgiveness but remember its primary function is for you not them. The second question I am often asked is are their limits to what you should forgive? The question is no. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

An example I have used is that in a former life I did (according to my partner) a number of things that in her opinion were criteria for divorce. I have asked a number of people if I had done those things to them would they have asked for a divorce. The answer was always no, but that is not my point. If I were to call my former wife to forgive her for her behavior during our separation I am confident her attitude would be that she didn't do anything that required my forgiveness. So here I am I need to release all of this stuff, but I can send it to her without her rejection. Does that mean I am doomed to carry all of this stuff with me to my grave? NO. I sent her my love, light and my forgiveness out into the universe. I released all of my anger, pain and grief. She may or may not be aware of it but I am. And that is all that matters.

One area that we have not touched on so far which is by far the most critical element in forgiveness is the ability to forgive yourself.
Look at your own life in retrospect. What un-forgiveness are you carrying around in your mind that needs to be released. I will bet that you are either consciously or unconsciously punishing yourself for any number of words spoken or not spoken, deeds done or not done, mistakes, failures and behavior that you should have had or not had.

You need to let go of all of this negative baggage about yourself for all the same reasons you need to do it for another person.
There are four stages of forgiveness. The hurting stage, the hating stage, the healing stage and the coming together. Everyone spends a different amount of time in each stage. Everyone experiences and expresses themselves differently while in each stage. The key is to recognize that they exist and to be aware of your behavior while in each stage.

There are a few steps that you can follow to speed up the forgiveness process. They are;
One, learn to see the divinity in your partner. Two, recognize that they are not their behavior. They are so much more than the transgression, words or mistakes. Three, Know that most people are doing the best that they can with what they have at the time. Four, Practice forgiveness in little things before you tackle a biggie. Five, Is this person or situation worth getting sick over. Six, the mind can't hold love and hate in it at the same time, it can't hold un-forgiveness and acceptance in it at the same time. So choose your actions.
You and I are responsible to our partners but not for them. We are responsible for ourselves in the relationship but not their behavior or feelings. We are not responsible to but for. Subtle difference in definition but major difference in attitude or philosophy.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/280860

Monday, January 30, 2012

How to Feel Good About Yourself






How to Feel Good About Yourself
By Mitch McCrimmon
We are all hooked on the same set of tactics to help us feel good about ourselves, most of which have no lasting effect. To achieve sustainable self esteem, the first step is to become more aware of how our usual tactics are self-defeating.
Your Unproductive Self Esteem Building Tactics
1. Feast on bad news about other people. The media feeds us universally bad news because it meets our deep need to feel good about ourselves. Seeing other people suffering makes us feel that we are not as bad off as we think. When we see people in California lose their homes to fire, we feel that, however hard up we are, they are worse off. We feign sympathy while inwardly feeling relief.
2. Criticize other people or find ways to put them down. A common way to pump ourselves up is to gloat over the stupidity of others. As angry as the mistakes of others make us, we would be lost without them. We need their mistakes to realize that surely WE are not that stupid.
3. Win as many arguments as you can. Being right is a good way to score points, if only to convince yourself that you are better than the other person. It doesn't really matter if you distort the facts or overlook some inconvenient truths, as long as you can convince yourself and your opponent that you know best.
4. Be quick to spot how people differ from you. Despite sharing 98% of our genes with chimpanzees, we can spot how people differ from us more quickly than an eagle can spot a mouse. Differences automatically mean inferiority in others and superiority in us. Looking for things we have in common with other people does nothing for our self esteem, so why bother?
5. Align yourself closely to a select group - community, political party, ethnic group, religion, club, nation, age group or racial category. Just as we identify with winners in sports, we need us-them relationships with other groups to feel superior.
6. Exaggerate someone's faults. The greater someone else's faults appear, the more faultless you can regard yourself.
7. Blame someone else, circumstances or bad luck whenever something goes wrong to take the heat off yourself.
We are hooked on these tactics because they give us the same quick fix we get from food, drugs and alcohol. Equally, they give no lasting boost to our self esteem.
Why We Feel Bad About Ourselves
Our search for more productive ways of building self esteem must begin by recognizing the self-defeating habits listed above. Next we need to understand why we feel bad about ourselves in the first place. Here are some of the most common reasons why we don't always like ourselves:
1. We're not sufficiently aware of our strengths and daily good deeds because they come naturally to us so we discount them by saying "Surely, anybody can do that!" The things we are good at, enjoy doing or find easy to do are indicative of strengths but we discount them as strengths precisely because they are easy for us.
2. Similarly, we overlook how much we have got to be happy about (like just being alive) and focus primarily on what we haven't got.
3. We compare ourselves with unrealistic role models thanks to media attention constantly paid to the rich and famous.
4. We get more negative than positive feedback because people react to what annoys them. People want to focus on their own needs. As long as no one bothers them, they don't notice good deeds unless they are remarkable. But as soon as you do something that distracts them from themselves, they turn nasty and put you in your place. No wonder you see yourself as a bad person.
5. We compare how we feel with how everyone around us behaves. If they seem OK, we feel worse because we think we are the only ones with bad feelings.
6. Some parents idolize their children, making them think they are invincible and setting high, unrealistic expectations for them, thereby unwittingly setting them up to fail. Conversely, some parents go to the other extreme and see their children as never doing anything right.
7. We quickly forget our successes and good fortune. Even if we win the lottery, six months later we return to our normal state of dissatisfaction.
This list is not exhaustive, but there are enough reasons here to be down on ourselves. You likely have your own unique reasons to beat yourself up.
Twelve Ways to Build Sustainable Self Esteem
1. Monitor yourself closely to avoid self-defeating tactics and short term fixes.
2. Engineer more positive feedback for yourself by focusing a lot more attention on meeting the needs of others. Enough people will show appreciation if you do nice things for them to help you feel good about yourself. This is also about taking the focus off yourself, being less self-absorbed.
3. Recognize that everyone has similar fears, anxieties and low self esteem and that you have the power to make them feel better about themselves. Helping others is a sure way to feel good about yourself.
4. When you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about people, force yourself to list a comparable number of positive facts about them.
5. When you want to disagree with someone, begin by stating a few aspects of their position that are agreeable to you.
6. Become more aware of your strengths and daily good deeds. Stop taking them for granted just because they are easy for you to do.
7. Instead of placing blame, focus on the future, and ask yourself: "What can I do differently to improve this situation?" Take ownership. By placing blame, you disempower yourself. While you may feel better immediately by getting your anger off your chest, it never helps. in the longer term, to feel disempowered.
8. Meet regularly with your team, boss or colleagues and review what went well since you last met. Most meetings focus on problems, creating a negative atmosphere.
9. Compare yourself with realistic role models and set realistic goals for yourself.
10. Regularly remind yourself of your good fortune, the reasons you have to be happy.
11. Be active. Practical action is better than excessive soul searching. Too much introspection breeds discontent and self-doubt.
12. Spend more time with upbeat friends, less with those who are overly negative.
See http://www.leadersdirect.com for more information on this and related topics. Mitch McCrimmon's latest book, Burn! 7 Leadership Myths in Ashes was published in 2006. He is a business psychologist with over 30 years experience of leadership assessment and executive coaching.
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Friday, January 27, 2012

Sale-Closing Techniques






Sale-Closing Techniques - A 1 - 2 - 3 Punch to Get the Sale
By James M Hussey

It doesn't matter what industry you're in, if you're trying to make any profit, you need to become adept at successfully using sale-closing techniques. Even as a remodeling contractor, the author had to use these in order to succeed in business and generate an income in a volatile, competitive market. As the new family business has taken off so well, it has all been traced to sales generated using this combination.

It all really depends on your personal selling process--but here are 3 of the most effective methods to get the sale, used in tandem for a knockout punch:

• Door Knob Close
• Assumptive Close
• Puppy Dog Close

There's plenty more to choose from, these happen to be the 3 related money-makers that have been effective in the author's experience as a franchisee-owner and owner of two other businesses. Let's look at each in turn, and feel free to tweak this to fit your own application.

Door Knob Close
After the sales presentation or pitch, and asking for the sale a few times (using the Assumptive Close, below) only to be met with a flurry of objections, it may take the wind out of your sails a bit. Rather than give up so easily, however, a successful salesman will have this ace up his sleeve. For the sake of rhetorical integrity, let's say you're presenting in a place of business, say you're trying to sell advertising or what have you. You're met with one or another objection, you think you've answered them but the prospect is leaning towards a waffling "No."
The Door Knob Close is when you turn around and head for the exit, seemingly accepting defeat, only to appear to pause in thought with your hand on the knob. Then, in Colombo-like fashion, you make it look like you just had a great idea. Turning to your prospect, you say, "Hmm, you know, I can appreciate what you've just said, I've been in those shoes, too. But if price is the main objection...(or whatever the objection is)." Then you come out with a Puppy Dog Close (see below) for the strongest door knob close, or some other "this is the best I can do, I'm giving it away at this point" type of deal.

Assumptive Close
The Assumptive Close is really a way of asking for the sale, and can fit into anyone's personal selling process. Instead of asking for the sale in a "Yes" or "No" fashion, simply assume the sale and phrase the close as a choice of quantity, quality or delivery date. In other words, if you're selling a sports car, ask if they want it in automatic or manual shift, rather than, "Do you want the car?"
A common mistake that many make with the Assumptive Close is that they forget to come prepared with answers to objections. Answering objections is a necessary part of all sale-closing techniques, so come prepared. After answering the objection, go back into the Assumptive, and ask for the sale again.

Puppy Dog Close
The Puppy Dog Close is the easiest to do if you're the business owner, just be sure you know your own break-even and ROI for a given sale before you offer it. In other words, don't give the farm away to win a tractor. This works really great in tandem with the Door Knob Close, for a great 1-2 combo.
It works like this: you've gone through the above, answered objections, and you get the feeling that the prospect would buy right now, but somehow you've lost them. At some point, their sales resistance went up just a hair, and the Puppy Dog Close just may bring them back around. You offer a "Try it Risk-Free" condition, and if they don't want it after giving it a shot, then they don't have to buy.
We do this all the time in our service-oriented business, and it works well. If people want to give us a shot, then they can, and we fill out our form and "sign them up," so to speak, all the while telling them they don't have an obligation to use us. The kicker is that it's all true, mind you--don't do a Puppy Dog if you're just being unethical and are cornering the prospect into a contract deal in an underhanded way.

To summarize:
When you ask for a sale, assume it's a done deal. (Assumptive Close)
If you're met with objections just for objection's sake, and you think the person is waffling, use a Door Knob Close.

To really seal the deal and remove all sales resistance, use a Puppy Dog Close, or risk-free trial, to allow your company to prove themselves to your prospect.
Armed with these sale-closing techniques, adapted for your own personal selling process, you should close more sales than not.
James Hussey works a successful family business by day built on these sale-closing techniques. When he's not out closing sales he blogs, freelances on Elance creating SEO-rich content and articles as "JamestheJust," and reflects on how amazing his wife and kids are. Really. One of his blogs is http://DogPetStores.com/ where you'll find info on Dog Booties and beds, training collars and clothes, dog meds and dog behavior questions.

Come visit and get a couple of samples of dog training programs, for FREE, including FREE video lessons for dog training.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

How to Discover Your Life's Purpose!






How to Discover Your Life's Purpose!

By Cheryl Fauvel

Do you ever feel that sometimes your life seems a bit stuck and you feel like you are just drifting! This is not a nice feeling and can leave us feeling insecure and lost with no idea of our destination! There has to be more to life than that? Discover your life's purpose!

Life is short and the years just fly by, sometimes it feels as though time is running out, and I for one don't like that feeling at all!
So Much To Do And So Little Time!

We have become so bogged down with our daily necessary things to do, the job, the family, the chores.. by the time we have some time for ourselves we are done in and fit for nothing. Then on top of that, others want a piece of us as well! How are we meant to achieve any goals when this is what we have to deal with?
So many people feel this way, we get caught up in life, living how we think we are supposed to live, we forget who we truly are and what our life is meant to be!
This is not what life should be like, not at all!
Life Is Too Short!

Life is definitely too short to be letting it just slip by, or living it by others standards. Our life is the most precious gift we have, and we should not take it for granted and let it slip by! We need to reach our potential, grow as much as possible and take in all the beauty that is on offer for us! It is all just waiting for us to see the light and stop living a boring mundane life!
If we just take a leap of faith, life is not gray and boring, it's just beautiful and amazing, we are too busy to see it!

Don't you want to look back at your life and smile, knowing that your strived for your goals and lived to the full? Yes our lives are definitely about more than this! We have a mission, it is our job to find our true purpose and live it!
How do We Find Our life Purpose?
Firstly we have to take time for ourselves, if that means that you have to leave your family to their own devices for a while, so what, they will survive while you take an hour for yourself!

Get out, go for a walk, open your eyes and look at the wonders around you! Get into the habit of demanding that time for yourself, try to do it at the same time everyday, and don't feel guilty, you are entitled to this, you will become a better person and your family will get used to it and love you for it!
Ask Yourself Some Questions!

Now that you are used to your own time, sit with nature, maybe next to a big powerful tree! Ask yourself if you are happy, what would you change if you could? Is there something you would like to achieve with your life! Look for your passion. If you feel really excited and just have to get on the road to achieve this, then you have most likely found your purpose, the reason for your life!
If this is your purpose then you will not be able to let go of it, and believe me if you do not proceed to live it, you will be missing out on all the glory and wonder of your life!

Don't waste your life, live your passion create your dreams, do it now! Discover your life's purpose!

Life is too short not to love every moment, start loving it! Choose to grow and achieve your dreams, it really is your choice, make it now! Be true to you and discover your life's purpose! My Success to you, to all you deserve and desire! Cheryl Fauvèl http://mindandbodyinhealth.com

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Social Media Marketing Plan






Social Media Marketing Plan
By Simon J. Maselli

Do you know how to Leverage your social media marketing plan to maximize your business exposure to the internet?

Social networking is the latest revolution in online advertising and it continually surprises me how few leverage its potential. It is relatively simple to set up and once you reach critical mass, the results from social media marketing are awesome.
Read on to find steps on setting up your social network.

1. Set up a business page on Facebook. This is relatively simple to achieve. Sign up to Facebook and set-up a personal page. You would then set up your social media marketing page by establishing either a group or a page. My personal recommendation is to set up your social media marketing plan as a page. Complete as much information in the business information tabs as possible and remember to link back to your main website.

2. Set up a profile on twitter. Go to the Twitter home page and select "New User". Twitter is currently the fastest growing community on the internet. Complete the relevant information and verify your account. The next step is to search twitter for users interested in similar ideas as your business. There are a number of options you can target your social media marketing prospects, from your contacts lists to keyword searches. Take your time and add as many new contacts as time permits.

3. Visit LinkedIn and make a new profile. Linked in often gets users searching for individuals/business for work so it is key to make sure that you completely fill out the details required for a complete profile. This will leverage your social media marketing opportunity and ensure your LinkedIn prospects know what you are about.

4. Join Digg and begin to submit the pages of your website to the Digg Community.

5. Join StumbleUpon and submit pages from your website. This is one of the largest source of traffic early in your websites development and it is important that you maximise the power this resource has to offer to leverage social media marketing.

6. Add buttons to your website that will enable you to link from your website to each of these to your Social networking profiles. there are widgets and banners available at each of the Social Network Marketing sites that you can simply cut and paste into your website to Leverage the Power of this Medium
If you follow these 6 steps to Social Media Marketing you will be well on your way to leveraging the power of this marketing strategy.
Simon Maselli is a Progressive, innovative, energetic and diversely experienced Entrepreneur, and Professional Deal Maker with more than 16 years success as a Leader/Project Manager on multi-million dollar projects with some of the top ASX listed companies in Australia.

As a Social Media Specialist [http://simonmaselli.com/smm.html] and expert in the field of Personal Branding [http://simonmaselli.com/pb.html] who focuses on Return On Investment by boosting your personal and business presence, Simon gets Results
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Monday, January 23, 2012

Sales Appointment Planning






Sales Appointment Planning
By Alan Gray

This is arguably the hardest thing you will ask a salesperson to do, the part of the job they really hate. They normally have a planning day to make appointments, follow up quotes and catch up with any paper work.

The appointment making is the part where they come unstuck. You normally have the sales manager demanding X number of appointments per week as we all know all sales departments play the numbers games. The more people you call, the more appointments you make, the more quotes you will do, the more orders you will get. That part is only common sense. However by working smarter in marketing imagine you come into work on a morning and your inbox is full of requests from people who actually wanted to see you, your appointment planning becomes a lot easier.

Just to re-emphasize that point Let me run the following past you
You are a Sales manager and you request each of your sales team members to do 16 appointments per week. Now the Salesperson will know of 5 or 6 companies that they need to see in that week so they will ring up, hopefully get in touch with the person they need to see and make the appointment. They will do this to all six companies and if they are really lucky, make 6 appointments. General rule is they will make four and two call backs on the companies they could not appoint. You now have an experienced Sales person who still has 12 appointments to make and no idea where they will come from. So what do they do, they start cold calling, hoping beyond hope that they will manage to find 12 potentials with a need for their product and the budget to buy it. Desperation sets in because they want to keep you happy with the 16 calls you have targeted them to make. They will practically beg customers to let them visit even though they do not have an application or budget. The result is your Salespeople turn into talking brochure and they end up wasting both their time and the customers. Let me ask you a question. Do you know how much it cost's to send a sales person on a visit? Multiply that figure by the number of appointments that are potentially talking brochure calls and multiply that by 38 weeks, you'll be horrified at the wasted cost

To put a Sales person on the road we will use the figure of £100,000. This includes Salary, car, hotels, fuel and support staff. (Please enter your own figure)
If we use 38 weeks this will account for holidays, sales meetings and training
So 16 appointments per week X 38 weeks equals 608 appointments per year
The cost to put a sales person on the road in our example we have used £100,000
So the average cost per sales visit is £164.47
If in our example you are doing 12 calls per week that are none value added i.e. talking brochure you could be wasting
12 X 38 X £164.47 = £74,998.32

That's why you need first class marketing. I was once told "If you are bad at marketing you have to have a damned good sales team"
Alan Gray sales consultant [http://www.issmarketing.com]
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alan_Gray


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/173503

How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday





How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday

How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday
By Grace Rivera




Want to know how to be happy with yourself? Want to know what principles happy people cling on to? Here's a peek to some of the secrets to being happy with who you are day in and out. With hope, the following should change your perspective in life and improve your disposition. Lastly, it should help you embrace yourself and be one of the happy few who succeed in life.

Here are some tips on how to be happy:

Loosen up and find time for leisure. Your crazy work life and domestic responsibilities may kill your free time completely but that should never be the case. You don't need an hour to pamper yourself to some quick leisure activities. Take a fifteen-minute break every three hours of solid chair-wrecking session with your laptop and treat yourself to a sweet and warm mug of chocolate or cappuccino. Go out for a breather and take in some fresh air or watch the sun folds its glorious rays before your very eyes.

Surround yourself with things that delight you. If you are a girl, surround yourself with beautiful things such as flowers or plants, pretty furniture or work desk fillers, funny photos, inspiring quotes, etc. If you are a guy, you might find action toy figures, family picture, car posters or photos of gadgets fascinating. Whatever it is that lights a flicker of smile in your heart, whether it's something you have or don't have practical use of, put it where you frequent. These things shall remind you of your aspirations and experiences and stir in you a sense of joy that can only be found in simple things.

Lose yourself from time to time. Do crazy things once in a while and make yourself as goofy as possible. The ability to enjoy life is sometimes reflected on how mighty you can laugh at yourself. Don't be afraid to see and unleash your freak. Take your inhibitions away, have fun, and get to know yourself in every light. This is a good exercise if you really want to know how to be happy with yourself. After all, being comfortable with yourself means knowing yourself fully well.

Accept everything you are. No one else will. It is okay to have flaws and there's nothing wrong with being imperfect. Sure there are things you wish you could be or have but that doesn't nullify all the other good qualities you have. And if you will take time to notice, you find that not all bad things about you are thorns in the flesh. Sometime, they can be your saving grace, too.

Set aside time for self-talk. No, you don't do it in public or when you're in your cubicle. Like scheduling an appointment with your dentist, this self-talk should be done in private, when you are alone and not rushing. What do you do in a self-talk therapy session? Well, it's basically an exercise where you let your thoughts and feelings out by talking. You can get a mirror if you are more visual but often times just focusing on yourself talk will suffice. Talk as if you are the only person alive. It's good for the soul and spirit, but never ever try doing it out in public or others may think you're crazy.

Make other people happy. You can start by doing kind things for others or saying some really encouraging or inspiring. You may show up and show your support if a significant one is undergoing a life-changing event in her life or a crisis. Or you may literally crack a joke or witty remark over lunch or during a boring meeting. Whatever could make someone happy, do it as long as you are capable. The more happiness you give, the more you receive.

All in all, how to be happy with yourself takes effort. For some it comes out naturally but in some cases, you really have to work on it. Thankfully, there are ways. You have just been given the key to lasting happiness, use it well.

Discover the easy ways on how to be happy today. Visit us at www.motivateyourself.org to find out how.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grace_Rivera



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6788738

Saturday, January 21, 2012

3 Sales Closing Techniques You Must Master Immediately


3 Sales Closing Techniques You Must Master Immediately
By J Allen Reeves




There are a lot of sales closing techniques you'll hear from thousands of different people - all telling you slightly different things to try.

However, there is no time in the day to master them all. In this article you'll learn 3 sales closing techniques I recommend mastering first, before moving on to anything else.

3 Sales Closing Techniques You Need To Know

1. Understand Your Prospect - This is something few people talk about, but a skill you MUST get better at if you want to close more people. Listen very, very closely to what the prospect is saying - and figure out ways to show them that YOU can help with whatever problem they're having. Give case studies, be genuine, and come into the conversation with one goal - to HELP that person fix whatever problem they're currently having.

2. Be Confident - Nobody likes a person who's ashamed to admit they're good at what they do. Being timid about your skills is a HUGE killer when closing sales... so do whatever is needed to gain confidence in your skills, and then display that confidence to your prospect. If they ask if you can help them out with "X" problem - boldly declare that you can and will. If needed... guarantee your work. This holds you accountable and dissolves the "confidence" problem immediately.

3. Follow-Up Is Key - Very few people I know regularly follow-up with clients they didn't close on the first try... and it's KILLING their sales! This sales closing technique is absolutely mandatory - simply because if you continually followup with prospects and show your willingness to work with them... they will eventually come to you. Each followup shows that person that you're serious about what you do, which helps them gain trust, credibility and many other factors that go into actually closing the sale.

Listen... when it comes to sales closing techniques - their are probably hundreds of them that you can follow. DO NOT try and become a master of them all at once. One of the best things you'll ever do for your business are mastering a few of the "key" components of closing the sale.

The 3 I gave you are what I consider to be some of the most key factors you can use.

1 out of 3 will get you average results.
2 out of 3 will get you good results.
3 out of 3 will put you at the top of your game... and the top of our industry.

Now work on increasing your ability to do these 3 sales closing techniques... and then write me and tell me how much money it's made you!

To see Jeremy Reeves' track record of profit-exploding results and to discover how Jeremy can help explode YOUR bottom-line profits using advanced selling and copywriters strategies and to reserve your FREE 30 minute consultation... visit http://www.ReevesCopy.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=J_Allen_Reeves



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4797495

Friday, January 20, 2012

The Psychology of Consumerism




The Psychology of Consumerism
By Saberi Roy
On the marketing and behavioral aspects of consumerism and the advantages and disadvantages of consumerism
Consumerism is in a way the more human aspect of business and companies and businesses consider consumers along with their employees as the essential 'people elements' of their endeavor. Yet consumerism can have its other meanings and represent a culture of buying, highlight the virtues and vices of a materialistic society and emphasize on the importance of globalized business environment. Companies have to keep their consumers happy and develop and sell new products based on consumer needs. The needs of the consumers and the needs of businesses however seem to be circular as companies create needs of consumers and consumers also project their needs to businesses suggesting an interdependent relationship. When I say, companies create consumer needs, we can consider the example of Apple iPhone. Apple successfully created a need in consumers to possess a product that would successfully integrate the phone and the iPod. Of course Apple must have also done the initial survey to find out what consumer needs or demands are and then finally expanded and focused on these consumer needs to come up with the new products, including the iPhone. A good company is the one that can provide realistic and well defined frameworks for initial vague consumer needs. The needs of the consumers are initially not well defined or clear as consumers tend to have some idea about what they want but are not too sure about what they actually want. So through surveys and discussions with consumers and in house technical or product development advisers, companies are able to develop on these initial consumer ideas and vague consumer needs and provide shape to their future product plans.
Yet we could first try to define consumerism and understand why consumerism is such an important aspect of business and marketing. The term consumerism seems to have both positive and negative connotations as consumerism could mean a culture of possessions and glorification of materialism. Consumerism could however also mean progressively more consumption of goods and products that could benefit the economy and the markets with a heightened buying culture among people although consumerism could also mean the entire gamut of marketing and business activities that finally lead to the buying of products by consumers.
Consumerism thus has a broad definition and can include a range of buying and business behaviors, so finally consumerism is a 'kind of behavior' and that is how it is important to psychology and psychologists. Consumerism is about individuals or groups and how they select or buy secure and use or dispose products and services so that they can satisfy their needs of consumption and the practice of consumerism would also have a significant effect on society. The study of consumer behavior in a systematic and even a scientific manner would be the basis of the psychology of consumers and consumerism. The psychology of consumerism could be considered from two different aspects - one from a marketing or the business viewpoint in which consumerism is seen as essential since it helps maintain companies and businesses so the psychology would be based on how to attract consumers whereas the other viewpoint is the behavioral aspect of consumerism or why consumers buy or consume products and services, and what are the reasons of a buying culture and how this could be justified with normal or abnormal behavioral analysis.
The latter part of this discussion can help us answer several issues about consumerism.
Consumer Psychology from a Marketing Aspect -
Consumers buy according to their personal needs and what they feel is necessary and also according to social needs as they follow trends and thus become interested in certain products and services. Certain products appear more important, essential or attractive to consumers and these products tend to have certain value which makes it easier for companies to sell these products. Businesses and companies are capable of attracting more consumers by using the psychological principles of marketing and consumer behaviour and the key is to create want or the requirement for a product. Businesses and companies understand initial consumer needs through surveys and then they develop new products to attract consumers. Once products are developed, brand image and advertisements help in providing an association between products and companies and when consumers develop an element of familiarity with this association between brand name and product features, they tend to even want the product. In keeping with the demands of competition and consumerism, companies tend to give promotional offers, discounts, sales and low priced products with the aim of attracting more consumers. Considering the marketing perspective, consumerism is advantageous as more consumers and increased buying behavior would mean more sales of products although the disadvantages of increased consumer spending would be minimal except that increased consumerism would also signal increased competition from other manufacturers.
Thus the most essential features of consumer psychology from a marketing point of view are - creating the need for consumerism or for a specific product by advertising specific and unusual features of the product, developing the association between brands and products and offering attractive options such as discounts and sales to attract not just more consumers but also more sales.
Consumer Psychology from a Behavioral Aspect -
From a behavioral perspective, it would be interesting to engage in an analysis of buying behavior and we can try to understand why consumers buy in the first place. There could be several reasons for buying that arise from social and personal needs, from emotional and financial needs and some of these needs are healthy and positive and in fact essential in our daily life. However, buying behavior as in 'shopaholics' would be unpredictable, random, and even unhealthy, from a psychological point of view as excessive buying or consumerism cold indicate bipolar illness or a kind of addiction. However consumerism and specific focus on luxury brands could highlight the almost unhealthy addiction to fashion trends and status symbols in modern times and globalization seems to be encouraging this. Companies and businesses create choices in consumers so consumers already have a 'need' when they engage in buying behavior. Although this need could be personal and social, the need could also perfectly an emotional need to possess.
From a psychological viewpoint consumerism is about fulfilling our inherent need to control and possess certain objects which could well replace or substitute other possessions. For example, a woman undergoing divorce proceedings may suddenly develop the irresistible need to buy things continually because the need for possessiveness towards a partner has been diverted to other directions.
From a more clinical point of view consumerism could be explained with abnormal psychology and the role of depression, the need to satisfy excessive possessiveness and also the blind faith or dependence on fashion trends and all these are seen as negative aspects of consumer psychology. If consumerism is considered as a positive phenomenon, the advantages of consumerism would be the application of psychological principles in understanding buying behavior.
Consumerism and the study of consumerism helps us to understand and recognize not just consumer needs and how these needs are created or fulfilled but also the behavior and attitudes of consumers towards products and the business directions or endeavors to understand marketing from a behavioral perspective. The psychology of consumerism is thus about creating needs and associations so consumers develop certain familiarity with the product ideas even before buying them.
Consumerism could be both positive and negative and represent not just a global and globalized culture but also highlight the superficial trends and deeper necessities of individuals across societies and communities.
Reflections in Psychology - Part I - by Saberi Roy (2009)
http://www.lulu.com/content/5865445
Saberi Roy - Books
http://saberiroy.tripod.com/books
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Saberi_Roy


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1676096

Thursday, January 19, 2012

How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday




How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday
By Grace Rivera




Want to know how to be happy with yourself? Want to know what principles happy people cling on to? Here's a peek to some of the secrets to being happy with who you are day in and out. With hope, the following should change your perspective in life and improve your disposition. Lastly, it should help you embrace yourself and be one of the happy few who succeed in life.

Here are some tips on how to be happy:

Loosen up and find time for leisure. Your crazy work life and domestic responsibilities may kill your free time completely but that should never be the case. You don't need an hour to pamper yourself to some quick leisure activities. Take a fifteen-minute break every three hours of solid chair-wrecking session with your laptop and treat yourself to a sweet and warm mug of chocolate or cappuccino. Go out for a breather and take in some fresh air or watch the sun folds its glorious rays before your very eyes.

Surround yourself with things that delight you. If you are a girl, surround yourself with beautiful things such as flowers or plants, pretty furniture or work desk fillers, funny photos, inspiring quotes, etc. If you are a guy, you might find action toy figures, family picture, car posters or photos of gadgets fascinating. Whatever it is that lights a flicker of smile in your heart, whether it's something you have or don't have practical use of, put it where you frequent. These things shall remind you of your aspirations and experiences and stir in you a sense of joy that can only be found in simple things.

Lose yourself from time to time. Do crazy things once in a while and make yourself as goofy as possible. The ability to enjoy life is sometimes reflected on how mighty you can laugh at yourself. Don't be afraid to see and unleash your freak. Take your inhibitions away, have fun, and get to know yourself in every light. This is a good exercise if you really want to know how to be happy with yourself. After all, being comfortable with yourself means knowing yourself fully well.

Accept everything you are. No one else will. It is okay to have flaws and there's nothing wrong with being imperfect. Sure there are things you wish you could be or have but that doesn't nullify all the other good qualities you have. And if you will take time to notice, you find that not all bad things about you are thorns in the flesh. Sometime, they can be your saving grace, too.

Set aside time for self-talk. No, you don't do it in public or when you're in your cubicle. Like scheduling an appointment with your dentist, this self-talk should be done in private, when you are alone and not rushing. What do you do in a self-talk therapy session? Well, it's basically an exercise where you let your thoughts and feelings out by talking. You can get a mirror if you are more visual but often times just focusing on yourself talk will suffice. Talk as if you are the only person alive. It's good for the soul and spirit, but never ever try doing it out in public or others may think you're crazy.

Make other people happy. You can start by doing kind things for others or saying some really encouraging or inspiring. You may show up and show your support if a significant one is undergoing a life-changing event in her life or a crisis. Or you may literally crack a joke or witty remark over lunch or during a boring meeting. Whatever could make someone happy, do it as long as you are capable. The more happiness you give, the more you receive.

All in all, how to be happy with yourself takes effort. For some it comes out naturally but in some cases, you really have to work on it. Thankfully, there are ways. You have just been given the key to lasting happiness, use it well.

Discover the easy ways on how to be happy today. Visit us at www.motivateyourself.org to find out how.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grace_Rivera



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6788738

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday




How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday

By Grace Rivera





Want to know how to be happy with yourself? Want to know what principles happy people cling on to? Here's a peek to some of the secrets to being happy with who you are day in and out. With hope, the following should change your perspective in life and improve your disposition. Lastly, it should help you embrace yourself and be one of the happy few who succeed in life.

Here are some tips on how to be happy:

Loosen up and find time for leisure. Your crazy work life and domestic responsibilities may kill your free time completely but that should never be the case. You don't need an hour to pamper yourself to some quick leisure activities. Take a fifteen-minute break every three hours of solid chair-wrecking session with your laptop and treat yourself to a sweet and warm mug of chocolate or cappuccino. Go out for a breather and take in some fresh air or watch the sun folds its glorious rays before your very eyes.

Surround yourself with things that delight you. If you are a girl, surround yourself with beautiful things such as flowers or plants, pretty furniture or work desk fillers, funny photos, inspiring quotes, etc. If you are a guy, you might find action toy figures, family picture, car posters or photos of gadgets fascinating. Whatever it is that lights a flicker of smile in your heart, whether it's something you have or don't have practical use of, put it where you frequent. These things shall remind you of your aspirations and experiences and stir in you a sense of joy that can only be found in simple things.

Lose yourself from time to time. Do crazy things once in a while and make yourself as goofy as possible. The ability to enjoy life is sometimes reflected on how mighty you can laugh at yourself. Don't be afraid to see and unleash your freak. Take your inhibitions away, have fun, and get to know yourself in every light. This is a good exercise if you really want to know how to be happy with yourself. After all, being comfortable with yourself means knowing yourself fully well.

Accept everything you are. No one else will. It is okay to have flaws and there's nothing wrong with being imperfect. Sure there are things you wish you could be or have but that doesn't nullify all the other good qualities you have. And if you will take time to notice, you find that not all bad things about you are thorns in the flesh. Sometime, they can be your saving grace, too.

Set aside time for self-talk. No, you don't do it in public or when you're in your cubicle. Like scheduling an appointment with your dentist, this self-talk should be done in private, when you are alone and not rushing. What do you do in a self-talk therapy session? Well, it's basically an exercise where you let your thoughts and feelings out by talking. You can get a mirror if you are more visual but often times just focusing on yourself talk will suffice. Talk as if you are the only person alive. It's good for the soul and spirit, but never ever try doing it out in public or others may think you're crazy.

Make other people happy. You can start by doing kind things for others or saying some really encouraging or inspiring. You may show up and show your support if a significant one is undergoing a life-changing event in her life or a crisis. Or you may literally crack a joke or witty remark over lunch or during a boring meeting. Whatever could make someone happy, do it as long as you are capable. The more happiness you give, the more you receive.

All in all, how to be happy with yourself takes effort. For some it comes out naturally but in some cases, you really have to work on it. Thankfully, there are ways. You have just been given the key to lasting happiness, use it well.

Discover the easy ways on how to be happy today. Visit us at www.motivateyourself.org to find out how.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grace_Rivera



How To Bounce Back From Adversity Again And Again?






Everyone at least once in their life experiences some form of a setback, adversity, failure or loss in at least one area of their life. Adversity can strike with or without notice. It can hit a relationship, a loved one, a career, your business, your health or your financial status.

No matter where or when it hits, the anxiety, stress, frustration, disappointment, fear, sadness or panic leave the same feelings or emotions in its wake. A senses of hopelessness and/or despair.

Life is circular not linear. First there is birth, then growth, then maturity then death, followed again by birth or re-birth and so on. This is the law of the universe, whether it is life itself or a change in career or a relationship. I do not mean to imply that all relationships must die before their time, but they do eventually end. There is a big difference. Endings are different than death. Death is certainly an ending, but there are literally thousands of types of endings.

Periods of life end, for example youth is followed by adulthood. All careers end if not by premature death, then retirement, or the beginning of a new or different career. Relationships end, if not physically, then a stage in the relationship, for example lust, infatuation or physical attraction is replaced in long standing relationships with deep and abiding love.

Setbacks and adversity are often signals that some aspect of life has come to an end or needs to come to an end. They are wake-up calls or what I call choice points in life. Many people, myself included, on a number of occasions, resist endings from time to time. Sometimes however, we embrace or encourage them. We want to continue life, business or a way of life forever. Most people die with unfinished business left in them. It is seldom that there isn't something more that could have been said, done, seen, learned or shared by someone who has passed on.

This is not an article about death and dying. It is about bouncing back from an event that life has been thrown in our path, or we have brought into our life because of our attitudes, decisions, behavior or actions. At the end of this article I will offer some ideas on how to bounce back, but first let's look at a few related ideas.

What gives adversity its power over emotions, feelings and responses? Why is adversity a tool used by some to improve or change, while it is used by others as an excuse or reason to give up or whine and bemoan their circumstances? Where is the potential learning or lessons in a setback or adverse situation?

Life isn't fair, and it isn't unfair. It just is. Life is neutral. It brings each person unique opportunities to learn and grow as a result of the events or circumstances that cross their path. Everyone, I repeat everyone regardless of their age, sex, nationality, religion, career status or financial position is a student in life. Some people, upon an outward-in first glance may "have it made". But do not judge by appearances only. Everyone has inner battles of one kind or another that they are fighting.

No one is immune to the teachings of life. Class is always in session. School is never out. There are no vacations. We never graduate. We don't get to select the curriculum, but we do have to do all the assignments and take all the quizzes. If we pass, we get to move on to other sometimes bigger or higher lessons. If we fail, we get to repeat the same lesson again and again until we finally learn whatever it is we need to learn as we travel through life. The repeated lesson might present itself from a different spouse, career situation, or any number of new and/or different circumstances, but the lesson will be the same.

There are several predicable stages that people go through following any loss regardless of its nature or severity. They are denial, anger, acceptance and finally moving forward.

Many of us bring repeated adversity of one kind or another into our lives and a great many people choose to see themselves as victims. To see yourself as a victim, and not take the responsibility for your circumstances is to live in an inner emotional world dominated by blame, guilt and resentment. I once heard a friend make the statement, "why is this happening to me again?" There was a common denominator in all of the repeated events. It was him.

Adversity gives us the opportunity to do a number of things as we move through our lives. Some of them are: reevaluate old life patterns that are not working; see ourselves more clearly as a contributor; develop new attitudes about life, relationships, money, people, work etc.; observe how we handle the lessons we are given.

A number of people have asked me why some people seem to have or attract more adversity or failure while others seem to glide through life with wonderful relationships, stable financial lives, growing careers, lots of friends and excellent health. I don't know for sure why some people seem to have more, do more and become more while others struggle daily with the basics of life. But I do have a few ideas and will share them with you as food for thought only. You won't find these in a psychology text or on a counselors couch. They are just my observations seeing life through my own personal struggles and successes.

Everyone is on their own personal path through life.

There is a law in the universe called the law of cause and effect. There is another metaphysical concept that states, be careful of what you ask for because you will probably get it. Still another says, what you are seeking is seeking you. There is a great quote from Yogi Bera, "expecting different results from repeated behavior is a mild form of insanity." Another from my relationship seminar says, life determines who comes into your life, your attitudes and actions determines who stays.

As you can see from a number of different perspectives, a great deal of the adversity and loss in our lives is self-inflicted as a result of our conscious actions, expectations, perceptions and thoughts or our unconscious values, beliefs, judgments and paradigms.

All behavior is the result of a persons consciousness. To attempt to change behavior without first changing consciousness is to invite failure whether it is with eating habits, communication patterns, or work ethics, and everything in between. The reason so many people fail at whatever behavior they attempt to change is because they try to change outside-in rather than inside-out.

What does all of this psychological mumbo jumbo have to do with adversity and bouncing back? Everything. Our state of mind is often fertile ground that attracts adversity into our lives. Our state of mind will determine how we will respond to, or overcome the events that come to us. Our perceptions, or filters (how we see life) will determine our interpretation of whether this is an adversity or not. Give twenty different people the same adverse event, and I guarantee that some will see it as negative, some will see it as positive and some will see it as devastating. The event was the same, the interpretations unique and personal.

Let's summarize and answer the first question, what gives adversity its power over people's emotions, feelings and responses?

When we are confronted with a situation regardless of its nature, that is perceived as a threat to our comfort, security, sense of well being or the status quo we tend to imagine the worst. Fear takes over. How will I survive alone? Will I ever find a new job or career that I will be successful in? Will I ever find another lasting nurturing relationship? What will my life be like with only memories of the past? Am I destined to struggle my entire life? How can I ever get over this tremendous loss? There are others, but I am confident you see my point.

When we operate out of a consciousness of fear, we tend to lose our perspective. We don't think rightly, see clearly or feel safe. We therefore see ourselves as victims and out of control of our lives.

Adversity can be a tool, just like any other emotional tool for positive change. If the wake-up call is heard, we can listen carefully to what we believe it is trying to teach us. This takes awareness, courage, self-love and patience. If we are too hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up thinking, I am such an idiot, or I'll never get this right or, I deserve all this bad stuff, we will find it difficult to create the proper mind-set to change direction. Adversity needs to be looked at with precision, careful observation and honest introspection. It needs to be seen as one of life's teachers, and not some villain that is out to get us or beat us down.

Having said all this it is also important that we not let ourselves off the hook with justification or acceptance. It is important to learn to become more comfortable with where we want to be or who we want to become rather than where we are or who we are.

As promised here are a few things you can do if you are smack in the middle of a situation that is uncomfortable, challenging or trying to teach you something, in other words an adversity.

One, try and keep the circumstances or situation in perspective. Will this be as big an issue in 100 years as it is today. Two, evaluate the situation in light of your entire life. Three, focus on what you have, not what you lost. This isn't any easy step when you are neck deep in pain, sorrow or grief, but continuing to focus on what is no longer, tends to keep you locked in the past and a state of 'no positive action'. Four, do something, anything to re-focus your thoughts, energy or activities in a positive or more healthy direction. Five, if it is a loss of a relationship or loved one, remember all that you had with them that was good and positive. Six, Remember you can't change what has happened, but you can change the future. And you change your future in your present moments. You also create all of your memories positive or negative, in your present moments. Seven, keep in mind the concept that you don't always get to determine what comes into your life, but you always get the choice of how to react or respond to it.

These are not easy steps. Loss and adversity of any kind are painful and difficult as long as you continue to remain focused on the loss or the problem. To use adversity as a positive teacher that has come lovingly into your life to help you overcome shortcomings, character defaults or poor judgment is a sign of emotional maturity. To wallow indefinitely in the negative circumstance, failure, disappointment or loss is to remain stuck and out of control. Life is neutral. It doesn't care how you react or respond to its teachings.

So the final question I would leave you with is, what kind of a student are you as you pass through the classes in life? Are you a willing learner or are you resisting the teaching, and the opportunity for personal growth?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/280866

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Happy Makar Sakranti!!





WHAT IS MAKAR SAKRANTI??

Read here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makar_Sankranti

Sankranti is the Sanskrit word in Indian Astrology which refers to the transmigration of the Sun from one Rāshi (sign of the zodiac) to another. Hence there are 12 such sankrantis in all. However, the Sankranti festival usually refers to Makara Sankaranti, or the transition of the Sun from Dhanu rashi (Sagittarius) to Makara rashi (Capricorn).
For this purpose, the signs and houses of the zodiac are calculated using sidereal time, not tropical. As such it does not account for the Earth's precession. The festival therefore takes place around 21 days after the winter solstice (between December 20 and 23) that marks the starting of the phenomenon of 'northward apparent migration of the sun' or Uttarayana, literally meaning northward journey of Sun.
Considering the winter solstice marks the beginning of the gradual increase of the duration of the day. Scientifically, the shortest day of the year is around December 21–22 after which the days begin to get longer, hence actual Winter Solstice begins on December 21 or December 22 when the tropical sun enters Makara rashi. Hence actual Uttarayana is December 21. This was the actual date of Makar Sakranti too. But because of the Earth's tilt of 23.45 degrees and sliding of equinoxes, Ayanamsa occurs. This has caused Makara Sankranti to slide further over the ages. A thousand years ago, Makar Sankranti was on December 31 and is now on January 14. Five thousand years later, it shall be by the end of February, while in 9,000 years it shall come in June.[citation needed]
While the traditional Indian Calendar is based on lunar positions, Sankranti is a solar event. So while dates of all Hindu festivals keep changing as per the Gregorian calendar, the date of Makar Sankranti remains constant over a long term, 14 January. Makar Sankranti is celebrated in the Hindu Calendar month of Magha.
Makar Sankranti is a major harvest festival celebrated in various parts of India. According to the lunar calendar, when the sun moves from the Tropic of Capricorn to the Tropic of Cancer or from Dakshinayana to Uttarayana, in the month of Pausha in mid-January, it commemorates the beginning of the harvest season and cessation of the northeast monsoon in South India. The movement of the Sun from one zodiac sign into another is called Sankranti and as the Sun moves into the Capricorn zodiac known as Makar in Hindi, this occasion is named as Makar Sankranti in the Indian context. It is one of the few Hindu Indian festivals which are celebrated on a fixed date i.e. 14 January every year.
Makar Sankranti, apart from a harvest festival is also regarded as the beginning of an auspicious phase in Indian culture. It is said as the 'holy phase of transition'. It marks the end of an inauspicious phase which according to the Hindu calendar begins around mid-December. It is believed that any auspicious and sacred ritual can be sanctified in any Hindu family, this day onwards. Scientifically, this day marks the beginning of warmer and longer days compared to the nights. In other words, Sankranti marks the termination of winter season and beginning of a new harvest or spring season.
All over the country, Makar Sankranti is observed with great fanfare. However, it is celebrated with distinct names and rituals in different parts of the country. In the states of northern and western India, the festival is celebrated as the Sankranti day with special zeal and fervor. The importance of this day has been signified in the ancient epics like Mahabharata also. So, apart from socio-geographical importance, this day also holds a historical and religious significance. As it is the festival of Sun God and he is regarded as the symbol divinity and wisdom, the festival also holds an eternal meaning to it.

How to Eliminate Your Victim Mentality


How to Eliminate Your Victim Mentality
By Kristin Hutchings



Do you feel like a victim in your life? Well, you if you do, you are not alone. When you have a victim mentality you feel as though you cannot succeed no matter how hard you try and that everything and everyone is against you. Feeling like this can be very frightening as it keeps you stuck. You feel trapped and helpless and believe you have no control over your life. Your thinking patterns are likely to be negative and very pessimistic. There is also a strong chance that self-pity and sadness are familiar features of your life.

Believe it or not, having a victim mentality is attractive to some people because they believe it holds several benefits, such as not taking any risks in life and therefore not failing at anything; generating pity and attention from other people; not having to work hard in order to take responsibility for their lives and having a victim mentality can also feel safe, simply because thinking in that way has become a habit and "normal".

In order to eliminate your victim mentality you have to realise the pay-offs for retaining that frame of mind and also know that it is a woefully poor substitute for a full and successful life. This is a very important first step to change. It is also important to be consciously aware of your thinking patterns and replace your negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Our thoughts create our feelings, so it is vital that you start to retrain your thoughts so that they are beneficial to your self-esteem and are encouraging and motivating.

The next step is to begin to take responsibility for your life. This means letting go of blaming others for our present situation. It means being accountable for your life and not handing control over to someone else. Taking responsibility helps to build a sense of inner strength and you cease to search for your validation from other people. They will no longer have such a strong influence on your thoughts and feelings.

Another way to eliminate your victim mentality is to take a moment to put your problems and fears into perspective. Comparing your predicament with people whose lives are much harder and less fortunate than your own is an excellent wake up call for your victim mentality. Gaining a sense of gratitude for the many blessings in your life is essential for appreciating the many gifts you have.

Gratitude may seem like a hard task in view of our past hurts, especially if we have been treated badly by people we loved and trusted. However, allowing ourselves to focus on betrayals and cruelty only serves to keep us stuck in a victim mentality. In order to break free from this we need to learn to forgive. Remember that forgiveness does not necessarily mean we condone others' actions against us. We forgive primarily for ourselves, not for others. Forgiveness releases us and unburdens our soul and it severs the link we hold with the person who treated us badly. Their power over us is broken. Forgiveness is vital if we wish to eliminate our victim mentality and move forward in our lives.

Victims very often turn their attention inward, narrowing down the focus of their life to the point of self-fixation. It is far better to start to turn your attention to the world around you and ask yourself what you can do to make it a better place and what you can contribute. There is a multitude of charitable and good causes that are crying out for help. Helping other people is a fantastic way to not only do something worthwhile but it's also a great way to feel wonderful about ourselves. When we help people in need we receive far more in return than we give. How you behave and act towards other people has a strong effect on how you treat yourself. If you treat others with kindness you are likely to treat yourself with the same thoughtfulness. Eliminating your victim mentality also requires that you are kind to yourself. Congratulate yourself for each day you take control over your life. There will still be days when you feel like a victim, but as these lessen you will see how much fuller and satisfying your life is and you will realise also that you have so much to offer to the world.

Increasing our confidence is essential for our emotional well-being. For a step by step guide on how to boost your self-confidence and banish negative habits such as a victim mentality, please visit http://socialselfhelp.wordpress.com/ and download the no-cost video.

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Friday, January 13, 2012

Maple Dreams Business Coaching

Poor Service Impacts on Business More Than the Recession By Michael M Walsh


Poor Service Impacts on Business More Than the Recession
By Michael M Walsh



Being unable to see their business through customers' eyes loses more business than the recession. So says Michael McLaughlin, for twenty-years a business vetting manager for the Guild of Master Craftsmen. The biggest haemorrhage of client assets is the loss of goodwill caused by badly trained or de-motivated staff.

As fast as service providers generate business through imaginative cost effective marketing, they lose it because of poor staff training and sheer bad management. The average customer can reel off a dozen businesses they no longer frequent. When asked why they reveal that they have been offended by poor customer service. It is the self-inflicted recession that never goes away.

American Best Practice

The chairman of an American car making giant was the first to see the light. He couldn't understand why his Far Eastern competitors were outselling his company's equally good products. Delegating members of his staff as pretend customers he sent them to his firm's dealerships; and to his rivals' outlets.

When they reported back he was shocked by the culture of complacency in his own firm's showrooms when compared with the customer-friendly 'can do' response of his Japanese and South Korean competitors. Setting up a department of mystery shoppers, their brief was to identify poor service judged from the customer's perspective. He aimed to identify the causes of his clients' dissatisfaction, and to address them, before his customers defected to the competition.

He added a complaints department that actually listened to customers, acted on their complaints; identified and dealt with problems so they didn't recur. The head of another corporation said: 'Today there isn't much difference in products; it is service that counts.'

The Good Business Test

McLaughlin sets out a test for business owners: He invites them and their staff to write down the number of services they no longer support, not because their products are inferior but because their service has left them disappointed. He says he can think of a dozen; a high proportion being restaurants, though interestingly Chinese eateries invariably score high marks.

The main complaints are incompetent, inattentive, or surly waiting on staff; a shoulder shrugging indifference to meals delivered late or badly cooked, poor value for money, and a lack of entertainment. Other offenders are town hall and local authority administrative departments. He says they should remember their monopoly, which leaves the consumer without alternative choice, does not justify poor customer service. If their salaries are sourced from their customers' bank accounts then they have a duty to work to the highest standards of customer service.

Customer dissatisfaction is often expressed when dealing with reception staff; hotels, and airport attendants. Medical centre staff come in for a great deal of criticism. Often the customer is patronised; empathy is non-existent; they are made to feel not only unwanted but a nuisance. A minimum of information is offered leading to administrative errors, unnecessary delays, customer irritation; all of which combine to reduce job satisfaction. Everyone loses.

The former quality assessment expert says business owners can help build and retain custom by inviting friends, unknown to staff, to give their honest opinion after clandestinely using their services. He says; "By all means tell the staff of your intentions. In my experience they respond well when they are involved without threat but offered rewards for helping to build a customer base and add to their shopping experience. "Business owners," he adds, "should heed the wise words of the Scottish poet, Robbie Burns: "The greatest gift that God can give us is to see ourselves as others see us."

© Michael Walsh: Experienced journalist-writer. Applies professional finish to stories or features; marketing flair for product or service reviews. Small press publishing. All genres considered. Welcomes your e-mail. http://www.michaelwalsh.es/

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Thursday, January 12, 2012

How to Deal With Insults - 5 Tips



How to Deal With Insults - 5 Tips
By Rand Whitehall





Some of us have thick skins and really just don't seem to flinch when insulted. Others are devastated and hide under the covers crying for a week. Here are a few tips you can use when dealing with insults.

1. Avoid a physical confrontation: At no time should an insult turn into a fistfight. This may seem to go without saying but many an insult does turn into a public brawl and it wasn't long ago that 'gentleman' actually dueled and shot each over such things, legally!

2. Use the true or false question: An insult is either true or false. If it's true, the party under attack may dispel the matter outright by stating his awareness of this fault of his. If it's false the accused can contradict if he wishes (see step 5), but really if the insult is false he won't care what strangers may think and those who do know and care for him will no doubt know it to be false as well. It might be pertinent to contradict however if there are professional consequences at stake.

3. Realize the person doing the insulting is out of control, and has broken the unspoken rules of behaviour: By insulting someone, the offender is revealing that he or she has lost control of the situation. So there's no avoiding the fact that (in theory anyway) one should ever be burned by an insult. Not only is an insult an oafish attack, it is only effective on people who do not have healthy self-awareness and lack 'maturity' (what I like to think of as an ability to assess facts).

4. Do not take the bait: When someone hurls an insult at you, don't show them your anger because that's what they want--to see you hurting over their words. Smile. Let it go. Life is short.

5. Tell them how you feel and lay out the consequences: Later, when the smoke has cleared, calmly tell the person who insulted you exactly how you feel about the situation. Tell the person never to insult you in that way again, or there will be consequences, for example, you will no longer associate with that person, stop speaking to him or her, etc. The key is that you clearly, calmly state that their behavior is unacceptable and lay out exactly what you will do if it happens again.

Rand writes about computers and Linux, cycling, and great recipes to name a few. Check out his blue nitrile gloves site for a large dose of nitrile glove info! There's even a page on black nitrile gloves too!

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Best Way to Get a Dream Job


The Best Way to Get a Dream Job
By Kimberly Bates




Ever hear about someone's job and think, "wow, now that's a dream job?" Chances are, it didn't start out that way.

There are really two options for you if you want to have one of those elusive jobs. The first is to create one yourself by designing your own dream business around the things you love to do. This isn't for everyone, however!

The second is to find a dream job as an employee for someone else. And, the reality is, most of those type jobs weren't conceived by the employer. Most of the time, those jobs were created by someone who was already working for the company in a different capacity.

And that's the big secret...most dream jobs are inside jobs. That is, they wind up getting created by someone already employed there, who builds a case for either creating or modifying a position into their perfect job.

I've actually been able to do this on two occasions. The first time I worked for a large telecommunications firm. I was newly pregnant, and wanted to stop traveling. There was a job posted that would be perfect for me, except it was located at our division offices 400 miles away. I approached the director about taking the position and doing it from home. Although they hadn't considered that option, we agreed to let me do it that way until I had the baby. Then, we would reassess. It was so successful, I wound up working "virtual" for six years. Yet, the job would never have been posted on a board as a "telecommuting" position.

The second time, I've been able to use work rules and scheduling options to make a job part-time. I get full benefits, but only work about half the month.

The drawback in both cases is that this "perfect" setup rarely lasts forever. In the first case, the company ultimately outsourced the work I was doing and the job went away. In the second, the company is being acquired and the new company may not offer the same options.

So, how do you create a "dream job?"

*Get a job, almost any job, in the industry or with the specific company where you want to work.

*Do really well. Establish a name for yourself. Become indispensable.

*Study the company to see if there are any existing positions that would fit your dream with doable changes (such as working from home).

*Approach management with your idea.

If they say "no," consider going out on your own to do the work as a consultant.

If working for an employer, and the restrictions and demands on your life and time just aren't working for you, please allow me to give you a complimentary consultation on your other options!

As a Dream Business Designer, I help people like you take their passions and lifestyle priorities and create a profit-modeled Dream Business idea with them. We start with an exciting, inspiring session to come up with an idea, then I work with you to turn that dream into a reality.

I'll start out by giving you ideas in a complimentary 20-minute brainstorming session by phone. Tell me your biggest wish and obstacle, and we'll go from there. http://dreambusinessdesign.com

Kimberly Bates, The Dream Designer

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